To most men of the world, this headline might well read like a rhetorical question. At least it might to Chris Mower, who likened his wife's failing to put out to a "cruel and unusual punishment." Notwithstanding that Ms Mower rejected her partner's advances following a miscarriage, months turned into years. Moth grew, and a whole series of unfortunate events befell Mr Mower.
According to an article in the Wall Street Journal, not having sex with his wife felt tantamount to saying "you don't love me." He got depressed, and packed on pounds. Can sex—or lack thereof—really be the pivotal source of a man's self-worth?
“He became grumpy," reads the article in WSJ, "gained weight and stopped wanting to come home at night. ‘For me to feel good about myself, I needed her to have sex with me,’ he says. ‘Otherwise I thought she didn't love me.’”
Harvard social psychologist Justin Lehmiller takes it one further. "For some men, sex may be their primary way of communicating and expressing intimacy. Taking away sex 'takes away their primary emotional outlet.'"
Marriage therapist and author of Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel says, "He is experiencing emotional deprivation."
Along the way Mower got a little obsessed, charting every strike-out and home run with statistical accuracy.
So in other words when you deny your man sex, what you are doing is essentially inflicting emotional torture. What do you think of them apples?
Printer-friendly version