I have yet to meet a couple who agrees with one another 100 percent of the time. In any long term relationship, whether it’s a sibling, a parent, or a spouse, there are going to be times when you just don’t see eye to eye.
While I have written about the merits of divorce and often say that if people are unhappy they should get divorced, I’m not talking about he-left-the-seat-up-again unhappy. Divorce is about deep-seeded, personality altering discontent.
Let me try to explain.
I would like to start this by stating that I am in no way an expert on divorce. I do however, speak from experience.
I have been in my fair share of failed relationships. I was married at 25 and divorced at 29. They call it a starter marriage. I find it hard to believe they have a name for it, but they do.
By 34, I was packing up my 2-year old daughter and leaving her dad. As I said, I have had my fair share of failed relationships.
Kids of divorce go through a lot, and as much as we like to think that they forget it, they don’t. With good communication, and lots of patience, they may learn to overcome their emotions, but it never goes away completely.
We were reminded of this one evening at dinner.
We were discussing all sorts of things, and it came around to our family and marriage. Inevitably, we also discussed divorce.
I often talk about how important it is to maintain a friendly rapport with your ex when you have a child together, but today I am going to give another reason to preserve that relationship.
Last night, I went out for a friend’s birthday. I planned to spend the night at another friend’s house so that I could drink without worrying about how I would get home.
I still ended up worrying about how I would get home... but for different reasons; I lost my car keys.
My ex and I have very open lines of communication. We often phone one another just to discuss something that happened in our daughter’s day or share funny anecdotes. We share information, and call one another for help. He calls me with work related questions (we work in the same industry), and I call him for directions when I’m in Toronto.
People who know us both, often say “please say hello” because they know we are friends.
This blog is to prove that no matter how good your communication is, sometimes signals get mixed.
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Maureen Turner is a social media junkie who has somehow managed to transform some mildly humorous tweets about American Idol into a blog.
What’s her expertise? Keeping the peace, or rather, trying to keep the peace. With one spouse, two ex’s & four children all trying to blend together, it’s not always easy but she somehow makes it work.
Maureen’s here to give you some pointers on how it’s done in her house... and her ex's house... and her husband’s ex's house, and her sister's friend's, and the cousins... oh you get the point! She’ll share the trials and tribulations of being an ex, a step, a women, and a mother – helping to put the F-U in dysfunctional along the way.
In Maureen’s other life, she worked in sports television for almost 15 years and somehow still isn’t a sports fan… unless the kids are playing. She also enjoys writing and has been dreaming of being published since she was a kid. Twitter + Erica Ehm = dream come true!
Follow Maureen on Twitter: @moeturner
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