I would like to start this by stating that I am in no way an expert on divorce. I do however, speak from experience.

I have been in my fair share of failed relationships. I was married at 25 and divorced at 29. They call it a starter marriage. I find it hard to believe they have a name for it, but they do.

By 34, I was packing up my 2-year old daughter and leaving her dad. As I said, I have had my fair share of failed relationships.

Perhaps my “starter marriage” could have worked if only I had tried harder, or acted differently, or been older?

But this blog isn’t about starter marriages or making them work, it’s about divorce.

This blog is written for everyone who is in a relationship that is taking them out of their comfort zone. Anyone who is thinking about divorce and wondering if that makes them a failure. This blog is an extended hand to anyone who hasn’t felt like their self in months.

I have been there.

If you are in a place where you feel like you have to walk on egg shells in order to keep the peace, or if you feel like you might never smile again, you are not alone. I know, you feel alone. You feel like you are trapped, but you aren’t. You have options.

I have said this before: Don’t stay for the children. It may not be a popular decision, but your kids don’t want you to be unhappy.

Imagine feeling like you can breathe. Imagine feeling like you can laugh and be yourself. I’m not saying it’s easy. It is in no way easy, but it is relieving.

I know, it’s a huge decision, and it’s one you have to make. If you think there is a glimmer of hope and you want to make it work, do it! But if you are sitting there, scared and defeated, wondering if you can do it. You can!

You can choose to be happy, you can choose not to take it anymore, you can choose to start a new. This is your life; don’t let someone else live it.

If I may offer a word of wisdom, take time for yourself, don’t jump into another relationship. It’s okay to be by yourself, get to know yourself, and when you are ready you will find someone who will accept you as you are. Because you took that time to get to know yourself, you won’t need them to make you happy, you will just enjoy their company instead.

I am not an expert. I am a friend.