So, I was nominated as the parent of choice to have “the talk” with my 10-year old step daughter.
We told her that, one night, when it was just her and I at home (that happens on Tuesdays), I would be talking to her about some changes that her body would soon be going through. She was eager to learn.
We had given her a body book a couple years ago to look through and prepare her, but we had never really talked about it. I wasn’t even sure how far she had gotten in the book.
So, that Tuesday came. As soon as everyone else was out of the house, Eleanor reminded me that “we needed to talk”.
I had spent most of the day, wondering where to start. I even put out to the Twitterverse. I got some great feedback, but I still wasn’t sure how to attack the subject and where and how far the topic should go. So when Eleanor suggested that she go and get her book, I thought that was a great idea.
I decided that I would start really basic and let it go as far as Eleanor led me.
We started with the fact that she would be starting to shower every day soon, and she would probably want to spend more time getting ready than playing in the morning. I explained that she would start to get body odour (she already has her own deodorant) and that she would need to use her deodorant every day too.
From basic grooming, we moved hair growth, body curves and vaginal discharge. We talked about shaving, changing her underwear everyday, and the possibilities of braiding her arm pit hair... yes, I actually said that, I thought we could use some comic relief before moving on to... duh duh duh... the period talk!
I thought she would have some idea, but she didn’t.
First we talked about how a baby is made from an egg that comes from the mommy. I told her that every month, a girl has one of those eggs that comes out, and if it doesn’t make a baby, it turns to her period. I explained that there would be some blood, every month, for a few days.
I took her up to my bathroom and I showed her a panty liner, a pad, and a tampon. I even took the tampon out of the package and showed her how it worked.
I told her she could ask me anything she wanted to, and she did. It never went in the direction of sex. I wondered if she was just to embarrassed to go there, so I put it out there by saying “do you have any questions about boys?” Her answer? “Yeah, how do I get So-and-so to like me?” The sex talk can wait till another day.
That was pretty much it. You know what she was most concerned with? When we would be going shopping to get her the new products she would need (ie: panty liners, shaving cream, etc).
I guess girls will be girls.
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