You know when you go shopping to buy something specific? You are a woman on a mission, and you will not stop until you find just what you are looking for. In your mind, you will walk into your favourite store, and the first thing you'll see when you walk in will be 'the item' that you have so desired. You walk quickly, with a light bounce in your step, because you're happy. Shopping always makes you happy, and today is no exception. I LOVE to shop. Like, LOVE.
Well. The other day, I went shopping to buy a new pair of pants from one of my favourite stores, and I thought I'd have a great shopping experience, leaving with a pair of brown wide-legged trouser pants. Instead, after searching through the entire store, I came to the sad realization that I was not going to leave a happy customer.
The only pants they had that closely resembled what I wanted to buy were size 0, 2, and 4.
I was quite upset. And I went through the 7 Stages of Grief due to this unforeseen experience.
Shock: What? Are you kidding me? These pants only come in a size 2? What's going on here? How could this be? But I'm here to buy some pants! I need these pants!
Denial: There is no way, that in this entire store, there is no size (as if I'd tell you) pants in the style that I want. No way. I will continue looking. I'm sure I am just not reading right. I'll start all over again, and go through every pair, just to make sure, because I'm not believing this right now. No way.
Anger: Okay, Banana, what's the freaking deal? I'm your number one customer! You are the reason my credit card is maxed! How can you treat me like this? Don't you see how badly I need these pants? What happened to us? How could you? Just what am I going to wear to work on Monday? I have no clothes! This is so unfair. Life is cruel. I hate you, Banana!
Guilt: If only I was a size 2 or 4. Then I wouldn't have this stupid problem to begin with. It's all my fault. I feel so guilty for eating all those mini chocolates during Grey's Anatomy. If I didn't eat like a 15-year-old boy, I probably could fit my Hellenic hips into a size 4. It's all my fault. Clearly everyone is a size 2 and 4 because that is all I'm seeing. I suck. I must start dieting right away.
Pain and Sorrow: I guess I'm not getting these brown pants today, after all. I'm so sad. I was looking forward to a future with these beautiful pants, to be worn with my new green cashmere sweater from J.Crew. Now, I have nothing. It hurts so bad. Must remedy this feeling by buying some chocolate.
Release and Resolution: Sigh. Okay, Banana. I forgive you. I'll just buy these grey trouser pants instead. They're nice. And they fit. I will be back, though. And the next time I'm here, I hope you'll have more pants in the size I wear. I will be okay. I'm strong. I will hold my head up high and move on to the shoe store.
Return to the Willingness to Love: Oh, hello beautiful black booties...I love you! You make me so happy! And, oh, what? You DO come in my size? Thank you God! Life is grand.
Need tips on what you absolutely need to be shopping for? I've done all the hard work for you! Here you go: What you should have in your closet!
Note: This post has been re-posted from a post I wrote in 2009 on my Loulou's Views blog.
Happy 2012, everyone!
Here we are, at the beginning of a new year. There are still quite a few months before the end of the world, so instead of talking about that, let's talk about something more fun!
Many of us are making resolutions since that's we do in January. Some of us have started dieting again (me) and vowing to work out at the gym every day (me) while some of us are resolving to learn something new, say no more often without feeling guilty, and make changes in life that will be hard, but necessary, whatever that may be.
I'd like to think that some people are also making resolutions to live a year fashion-faux-pas-free! That means that you're going to dress for YOU—in what you love and feel comfortable in—but at the same time, dress in a way that ensures you'll never end up on the pages of Glamour as a DON'T.
It's really simple. Really. If you remember a few golden rules, well, you'll be golden, too.
1. Keep it classy
This means that you shouldn't leave your house looking like Lady Gaga or Katy Perry unless it's Halloween and you're going to a costume party. Wear jeans that cover your behind, and leave the crop tops in your 1998 time capsule, okay? For inspiration look at Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly. Even Marilyn Monroe. Or the entire cast of Mad Men. Timeless, classic beautiful women. (And men!) Invest in a crisp white shirt, find a pair of jeans that fit you, and always wear a nice pair of shoes. (You can use this as an excuse to shop!)
2. LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS
Leggings, as you should know by now if your Ali's blog, are not pants. Please, please remember to COVER UP your behind or don't leave the house. Okay? This is why long sweaters and tops exist. So you can wear them with your leggings! And cute knee boots! Make it work...or don't even try.
3. Less is not always more
Bikinis on the beach or by the pool? Of course, and my favourite place to shop for bikinis is Old Navy, because they have the cutest designs at unbelievable prices, so you can wear a new bikini every day of the week if you wanted to, but make sure your parts are properly covered up, okay? Skanky looking is not classy. Keep it classy, San Diego.
4. Be original (to a point)
I'm all for expressing yourself and staying true to who you are, but within reason. I am not a fan of people who look like cartoon characters, wear ripped tights and nylons (seriously, TAKE THEM OFF) and are covered in over two dozen tattoos. Just, don't. You're not Gaga, or Madonna. You're also not going to get a real job dressing and looking that way. (If you're looking for the type of job that has some sort of rules about what you can and cannot wear.) Be yourself, but do it in a way so that you still look respectable. You're allowed to make a few mistakes when you're a teenager (we all did!) but once you're in your twenties, dress your age.
5. Don't stick to black
I love black, and I wear black a lot. I also love clothes in bright colours like pink, bright blue, and yellow. This year, go outside your comfort zone and wear a colour that is going to be hot this spring—orange! Just try a little colour—I promise you will not regret it. Even if it's only a pair of shoes, or a bright shade of lipstick, if you're not ready to wear an orange dress this summer. Baby steps!
Here's to a year of being a DO when it comes to fashion. Stick to stores that make it easy to stay off the DON'T list—Old Navy, Gap, Banana Republic, Anthropologie... all my favourite stores. I generally play it safe with fashion, and these stores have never failed me.
Next up: the looks that are going to be hot in 2012—you better make some room in your closet!
Happy shopping—and happy 2012!
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