Social networking sites like Twitter and Facebook are a lot like a real life cocktail party. People meet, hang out and chat (wine may or may not be involved). It’s “virtual mingling”. As Deborah, a friend on Twitter said, “Everyone’s invited to the party.” And she’s absolutely right. Everyone IS invited, but just because we’re all there, it doesn’t necessarily mean everyone feels included. Nobody should be left out of the party – online or in real life.
Here are ten things to consider before you put on your party dress (these suggestions apply to both url and irl mingling):
1. Shy can be misperceived at snotty. One of my closest friends is a tall, gorgeous woman who many consider to be cold and aloof upon first meeting. In reality, she’s kind, warm and wacky. She’s also painfully shy. I’m glad I took the time to get know the real her. Twenty years later, we’re still friends.
2. Silence is sometimes golden. Especially if you don’t have something nice to say. If you simply must speak up, why not take up your cause in private? There’s nothing festive about an angry mob.
3. Don’t assume that just because someone is popular, they won’t talk to you. This fall I went to a blogging conference and I’m kicking myself for not gathering up the courage to speak to a particular blogger I really admire. Not only did I miss out getting to know her, I fear I came off as a snob. see point #1
4. If someone reaches out to you, reach back. Acknowledge them. If they don’t respond, cut them some slack. You never know what else they might having going on in their lives.
5. Though it’s comfortable to stick within your crowd, try to circulate. Some of my most real connections online and in life have been made OUTSIDE my comfort zone. But don’t spread yourself too thin. You don’t need to participate in every conversation at the party. Stick to the ones that mean something to you.
6. We all put our foot in our mouths, call someone by the wrong name or unintentionally leave somebody out. People aren’t generally hurtful on purpose. Give others the benefit of the doubt.
7. You can't expect to enjoy the party if you don’t participate. You might be nervous, but like anything else, mingling takes practise. Share information about yourself so that people can get to know you. And ask people questions. You'll be amazed at how much you have in common with other people.
8. If you like what somebody is wearing or what they wrote or if you agree with a point they made, tell them. But don’t be fake. Be sincere.
9. If you talk about something like a great event you attended, where others weren't invited...it can tick people off. I know, high school may have been decades ago but, sometimes it feels like we're still walking the halls. Ya know? I'm not saying you shouldn't share the fun moments, but just be aware that some conversations are best held in private. I know this from experience... from both sides.
10. Be yourself. If people don’t like you for you...move on.
See you at the party! I'll be the one with onion dip on her pants and spinach in her teeth.
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/10280972@N04/1471909568">La soledad es de piedra/ Sorrow</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">(license)</a>
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