Once a month, countless women across Canada meet to talk books and ingest mass quantities of chips and dip. This literary league of moms, otherwise known as Book Club, abandons their families in the midst of chaotic bath and bedtime routines (I honestly think my tires squeal a little as I drive off) to dissect the days' best sellers. Amid appetizers and themed cocktails, great discussions unfold, trouser buttons are undone and good times are had.
An essential component of any successful Book Club is the hostess. She sets the tone and ensures the steady flow of discussion...and wine. She makes sure everyone is heard and that the chip bowl is never empty. She also breaks up any fights that may break out between club members. Some discussions can get pretty heated. Don't even get me started about the "Team Edward vs. Team Jacob" brawl of 2009.
Remember Brad Pitt in the movie Fight Club? Mmmm, sweaty Brad Pitt. His club had some pretty strict rules.
#1 - The first rule of Fight Club is, you do not talk about Fight Club.
#2 - The second rule of Fight Club is, you DO NOT talk about Fight Club.
#3 - If someone says stop, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over.
#4 - Two guys to a fight.
#5 - One fight at a time.
#6 - No shirts, no shoes.
#7 - Fights will go on as long as they have to.
#8 - If this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight.
Ironically, my book club has the exact same rules, with a few minor alterations...
#1 - The first rule of Book Club is, you do not talk about Book Club...unless some nerdlinger decides to blog about it.
#2 - The second rule of Book Club is, you DO NOT talk about Book Club...or god forbid take photos. What? So I may have posted a few shots to Instagram.
#3 - If someone says stop, goes limp, taps out...they’ve had too much wine or overdosed on two-bite brownies.
#4 - Two ladies to a chip bowl...more than that and gets dirty.
#5 - One book at a time....although I currently have three half-read novels, a self-help book, several magazines and a pamphlet stacked on my bedside table.
#6 - No shirts, no shoes...wait, I broke that rule. I wore a shirt AND shoes. I had to. a) Nobody wants to see this lily white post Christmas belly. b) I had holes in my socks.
#7 – Book discussions will go on as long as they have to...or until someone’s husband calls asking/pleading for them to come home.
#8 - If this is your first night at Book Club, you have to fight...to make yourself heard over the ridiculous amount of chatter, laughter, slurping and lip smacking.