“My mom weighs herself every single day and says she’s fat a lot.”
“My mom hates all her clothing and says she looks terrible in everything.”
“My mom never has dessert because she says it will make her fat.”
“My mom hates her legs and says they are too big. “
These are some of the casual comments I hear from young girls routinely when I do body image and self-esteem presentations. They repeat what they hear at home with the same casual nature in which they may also add, ”And I have a little brother Billy. He’s two.” They often hear the same comments so many times that it becomes their norm—part of the family routine.
I tell them that sometimes moms and dads and brothers and sisters get into habits by accident and sometimes say and do things that, well, could be done a little differently. We talk about the fact that if we eat healthy and get lots of exercise, we don’t have to step on a scale every day just because we see a family member doing so. I have had several girls shout out that they were going to go home to ask their mothers—and yes, unfortunately it is always the mothers—why they get on a scale every day and to tell them to stop because they think they are perfect just the way they are.
To drive home the importance of a mom’s influence in a girl’s life, Dove has initiated a worldwide study and found that half of girls globally say their mother is one of their female role models. 84% say "beautiful" describes their role models—more reason for moms to watch what they say about their looks, their weight, their thoughts about themselves in front of their daughters. If a mom doesn’t believe in her own beauty, how will her daughter? "Casual" comments while getting ready for a night out, while having a coffee and chatting with friends, or while trying on clothes in a change room are all being quietly absorbed and filed away.
The Dove research also discovered that girls are looking to their moms for advice on how to care for themselves and their bodies, moreso than their fathers, friends, or the media. A whopping 89% of Canadian girls look to their moms for this guidance and 66% feel pressure to be beautiful. With its Unstoppable Moms for Unstoppable Girls initiative, Dove aims to help draw attention to the fact that six out of ten girls avoid activities because they feel badly about the way they look. Until June 13, 2013, Dove is encouraging moms to enter its contest by sharing their stories of how they are an unstoppable role models for girls. Four women (one from each region) will win $2500 for her and have an equal amount donated to help raise a girl's self-esteem. You can enter by submitting your thoughts on the following:
Can you share a time where you thought about quitting an activity you loved because of how you felt about your body?
In what way do you think mom/role models can better support girls' participation in activities?
What makes you an unstoppable role model?
When I first started my lectures, I thought the biggest revelations would come from the kids. But the most interesting twist has been moms coming up to speak with me after when I had no idea they had even stayed around to hear me speak. A couple have approached me teary-eyed, declaring they needed to hear the lecture as much as their daughters, claiming it made them rethink how they talked about themselves and what type of message they were inadvertently passing along to their daughters. One mother told me she will stop weighing herself every day not realizing how damaging this message was to her daughter. In presentations to older audiences, I remind them how you would never say negative things about a five-year-old’s looks or body, so don’t say them about yourself. We are all still precious, amazing little five-year-old girls who deserve to know we are beautiful; we just grew up a little is all. Let's believe it so the next generation will too.
This is proudly sponsored by our friends at Dove®
www.dove.ca
Printer-friendly version