It started off with such promise. The Academy Awards, raising eyebrows among most of the general public, selected James Franco and Anne Hathaway to host the 83rd Annual Oscar awards. When they did this I assumed they had something up their sleeve, a bigger reason than just selecting two young stars to host their show thereby hoping to lower the average age demographic that watches their show. An effort to make the Oscars ‘young and hip’ if you will. They produced clever and funny commercials leading up to the show and made us think that there really was a bigger plan in mind for these two. Yeah, no there wasn’t. They sucked.

The Hosts
Let’s just put it out there – we’re pretty sure that James Franco was stoned all night. And Anne Hathaway tried, she really really tried, but by the end, her initial endearing charm and relentless ‘woo’ing’ and high-fiving became eye-roll inducing and irritating. Seriously – these two killed The Oscars. Next year I vote for Russell Brand and Helen Mirren to tag team host with Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law. Seriously – could you imagine how naughty that show would be?! And I do mean naughty in all the right ways!
 

They did start out promising with a cute ‘Inception’ inspired opening montage and smartly utilized Alec Baldwin, but seeing as my rental copy of Inception is still sitting un-opened on my ottoman I didn’t really get it. Kinda reminded me of the year of ‘The Crying Game’ when Billy Crystal did one of his famous opening song montages and did the whole ‘surprise!’ thing and I didn’t get the surprise. Until I read that the girl in the crying game was a guy – surprise!  But that Inception inspired opening bit was all they had. There were no great musical numbers, there wasn’t even any chemistry between Anne and James. Although truth be told it’s hard to have chemistry with a statue – and I am talking about James here. I actually feel bad for Anne Hathaway because she really really tried, but James Franco’s treating of the evening like it was beneath him kinda killed her mojo. I’m not sure what we should have expected though from the man who starred in a movie called ‘The Pineapple Express’.
 

The Pre-Show
How much do you wanna bet that Kelly Osbourne is seriously regretting all those tattoos she has all over her arms and legs and feet right about now?! Kids – take note. Things that seem like a good idea in your teens almost always never are. Listen to your mother.  Also I have a hard time with the whole 'now that Kelly is skinny she’s apparently some sort of ‘style icon’ who gets to critique Hollywood’s most wanted as they walk the red carpet'. Yes, I realize it’s for E! but it’s still so wrong. Almost as wrong as watching her and Giuliana Rancic blather to each other for two hours before the show. But at least they get to work with Ryan Seacrest who is like the new Mary Hart and he actually gets A-Listers, unlike Canada’s ETalk.

ETalk had Ben Mulroney, Tanya Kim and my fave Lainey from Lainey Gossip on the red carpet, but unfortunately every time I switched to watch them all I saw were people I had never heard of. I mean nothing was as bad as the ABC preshow with that woman who was sitting in a chair, but it was close.

The Fashion
I know Yael will give you a much more in-depth look at her best and worst dressed, but I just wanted to say that it really bothers me how much these awards shows have become about the fashion. I would be happy to see little black dresses on all of the ladies to be honest with you. I mean, when Ryan Seacrest asked Justin Timberlake who he was wearing, and JT went on for about three minutes about his custom tailored tux and how he couldn’t eat - I threw up in my mouth a little. This is the fucking Academy Awards people; two men should NOT be discussing what they are wearing!

There were some dresses I loved – with Reese Witherspoon being my absolute favorite. I know she might have looked like Barbie/Julia Roberts circa 2000, but I loved the simplicity yet elegance of her dress. This is one of my fitness inspirations after all, and she proved why last night!

Hailee Steinfeld was also very close to being my most favorite. At only 14 years old Hailee looked stunning and cute and completely age appropriate! It’s so nice to see a young star embracing the fact that she’s young and not trying to pull a Miley or Taylor Momsen! Loved the dress, loved the headband, and loved the very minimal makeup. I hope that young girls everywhere start to mimic Hailee’s style.

Also – the more I saw Cate Blanchett the more I like her. She wore that dress last night, unlike Mila Kunis who looked stunning standing still but kinda ruins it once she opens her mouth.

And I don’t care what you say – Jennifer Hudson might be skinny now but she looked terrible. Really – put your boobs away. When they’re not nice boobs you really shouldn’t have them on display that much. And I'll say it - that dress made her look big.

The Awards
The show was devoid of any great surprises. I spoke about this in my earlier blog – that I was able to correctly predict all of the big awards even though I hadn’t seen the majority of the movies. Aside from the Oscar’s being about the fashion lately I also hate that it’s also about the campaign. I think it was around the time that Harvey Weinstein’s Miramax studio successfully campaigned for’ Shakespeare in Love’, which ended up cleaning up at the 1998 Oscars and beating out a little film called ‘Saving Private Ryan’ for best picture, that the ‘Oscar campaign’ really kicked it up a notch. Sure, there are lots of rules governing the Oscar campaign, but let’s face it – it seems that these days the studio with the best campaign – not necessarily the best movie, wins.

I appreciated the self-deprecation of some of the winners – Aaron Sorkin acknowledging his long suffering press rep (it's hard to keep defending the hard to defend), Christian Bale making side references to his cell phone rant by promising not to pull a Melissa Leo and drop and f-bomb (but then ruining it by forgetting his wife’s name) but the rest of the speeches were boring and rambling and while Natalie Portman did manage to contain her crazy cackle she still bored me by the end of her 15minute speech.

In fact I couldn’t believe how boring the show was. I went to bed angry last night that because it was so boring. There was no Roberto Benigni, there was no Kanye West, there wasn’t even Jack Nicholson sitting in the front row wearing sunglasses and cut-eyeing everyone. Hollywood is boring, and if it weren’t for Kirk Douglas, Jeff Bridges and Sandra Bullock giving us a little bit of Hollywood royalty to marvel at, the entire show would have been a bomb. And don’t get me started on the ridiculous ending with those kids singing ‘Somewhere over the Rainbow’. I almost threw my shoe at the TV. Seriously people – WTF was that?! By the end I would have given my right arm for Usher to hop on stage and perform yet another rendition of ‘OMG’ – anything but those kids!

This year’s Academy Awards basically wrapped up what was one of the worst awards season’s in a long time. I think this just goes to show that we need real stars again. No more of this tween sensation/Belieber/singers/wannabe actors crap. So obviously I wasn’t a fan of the show – but tell me – did you like it?! Hit me with your best and worst moments and whether you think I’m totally wrong or not. Can’t wait to read your thoughts! And in case you fell asleep, here’s a wrap of the winners;
 

Best Picture: The King's Speech
Actor in a Leading Role: Colin Firth, The King's Speech
Actress in a Leading Role: Natalie Portman, Black Swan
Actor in a Supporting Role: Christian Bale, The Fighter
Actress in a Supporting Role: Melissa Leo, The Fighter
Director: Tom Hooper, The King's Speech
Original Screenplay: David Seidler, The King's Speech
Adapted Screenplay: Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network
Animated Feature Film: Toy Story 3
Foreign-Language Film: In a Better World (Denmark)
Documentary Feature: Inside Job
Art Direction: Alice in Wonderland
Cinematography: Inception
Film Editing: The Social Network
Costume Design: Alice in Wonderland
Original Song: "We Belong Together" (Toy Story 3), music and lyrics by Randy Newman
Original Score: Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, The Social Network
Animated Short: The Lost Thing
Documentary Short: Strangers No More
Live Action Short: God of Love
Makeup: The Wolfman
Sound Editing: Inception
Sound Mixing: Inception
Visual Effects: Inception


Scene and Heard
Confessions from a Pop Culture Mummy