So we have a law that states we can't be distracted while driving. This includes but is not limited to—texting, talking on the phone, and personal grooming. I try my best to avoid all of the above and use Boobtooth (see above) when I have to talk on the phone.
While I understand the idea behind the law I've got news for the government—the most distracting thing in my vehicle are my children. I learned early on as a parent that my best multitasking happens in a moving vehicle. I know it's not the safest place to complete more than one task, but like any mom knows it's completely unavoidable.
10 things more distracting than talking on a phone:
Fishing around the floor of the backseat to find the toy that has been dropped and is causing a major meltdown.
Trying to answer a 4-year-old's 3000 questions:
Trying to blindly insert a bottle or pacifier into the correct orifice of a screaming baby. Then dropping the bottle into an impossible to reach spot.
Attempting to rock a screaming, hungry baby with one arm stretched beyond human limits.
Trying to divert rolling objects from landing under the gas pedal.
Getting hit in the head repeatedly with an escaped balloon.
Trying to see the traffic in rear view mirror through said balloon (and managing to not go off the road when the balloon pops in my ear).
Divvying up on the go meals—including opening drinks, toys, and ketchup packets.
Driving on less than 3 hours sleep plus listening to a combo remix of Wheels on the Bus and a screaming baby.
Breastfeeding an infant while on a road trip by hovering over the car seat to avoid a 6th stop in one hour (I know this one is bad, but totally necessary in this case. I wasn't actually driving at the time!)
So, Officer, next time you see me swerving all over the road and assume I'm texting, please feel free to pull me over.
But be sure to take the real culprits for the afternoon, then maybe I'll get to drink my coffee and talk on the phone in peace.
This true confession, complete with patented Boobtooth technology, comes to you from momstown Edmonton-South.
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