In the last couple months I’ve actually had my friends and mentors start to try and intervene between me and the sweet comfort of my funk. They didn't just notice that something was off, by the way. ‘Noticing,’ is when some subtle detail makes you skew your head to one side and say ‘hmmm.’ I’m talking intervention. Like flat out:
“Kat, you are doing way too much and it’s showing…you’re slipping up...”
Contrary to popular belief, hitting rock bottom is not accompanied by a film noir soundtrack. There is no montage of mug shots and scandalous articles fresh off the press. There is no Biography special that tours the squalor of a Vegas motel room littered with empty whisky bottles, drug paraphernalia, and interviews with a prostitute named Trixie.
How do you know if your toddler is stressed, and how do you deal with it? I have been trying to figure this out myself. Actually, I have been totally stressing over it.
I’m in the middle of separating from my husband.
I have a toddler—a bright, beautiful, 2.5 year old—who loves her dad, loves her mom and, unsurprisingly, has none of the vocabulary necessary to express her feelings with regard to separation. Considering the fact that Hubs and I barely have the right vernacular either, why are we even surprised? But there it is...
Recently it feels like I’ve been living in a pinball machine. I’m noisily bouncing between clients, projects, emotions, and baggage. In moments of clarity I’m actually astounded by the fact that I’m a separated toddler-mom/creative entrepreneur, and producing a short film while basically living out of a suitcase.
Sunday we were on location at the Running Room from 8am to 12pm.
We had 2 scenes to finish shooting in that time, the weather was wet, we had a ton of equipment to move into the modest retail space and set up... By day 4, everyone was feeling the wear and tear of long days so we were all featuring a bit more of an edge than usual.
Something has been getting to me recently. The whole ‘it’s my anniversary so I’m changing my profile and/or cover picture’ to a generic wedding photo. Gah.
Look, I am the first person to go through your photos when I become your Facebook friend. I’m a total and self-admitted social media voyeur and I have no plans to stop formulating theories and opinions on your life based on nothing but Instagram pics of the food you eat and your most recent status updates.
My married friends are staying away from me because I’m going through a separation.
BANG.
There. I’ve said it.
Some of this is of course meant jokingly because we’re all busy moms and frankly it’s damn hard to make the stars align in favour of a margarita and good old-fashioned catch up.
Some of it however, means exactly what you think it means.
“I can only come out for a couple hours because M is watching the kids tonight.”
I’m standing in a room full of extremely powerful people. It’s a Canadian Women in Communications event and I'm a last-minute tag along addition.
“I’m Erica’s date,” I find myself saying. It’s easier than delving into an explanation of what exactly I do these days—a smattering of project management, design, writing, marketing, brand building, film production and motherhood.
