Kat Inokai: Trying Times

Oct
11
2012

Confessions Of A Film Set Mummy: Wednesday

Pre-Production Nerves, Mummy Guilt, And Self-Doubt

A few months ago, I decided to make a movie. Remember? It was my new baby.

Well, after nurturing, growing, and carrying around this project, we kicked it into labour!

On Monday, I packed up my kid, got on a plane, and flew from Toronto to Vancouver to make a movie.

Now, I’ve got an hour to get forms over to ACTRA and my sweet child won’t nap. Oh, did I mention that I’m in a parking lot right now? Yep! And this is way before we even start shooting.

Ok, and by ‘way before,’ I mean we have twenty-four hours before our official principal start of photography. Tons of time, right?

Vomit.

Oh, balls. Wait. We’re shooting tomorrow and we still haven’t received a key prop, because it’s being shipped and the tracking system of the courier is down? So, there’s that.

Wait a minute, I just got a text.

“They left page eighteen out of all the bound scripts and we’re shooting that scene tomorrow. First thingwe have to have them reprinted in time.”

Of course, we do.

“Mummy, I have a poopoo.”

Of course, you do.

“Hey, so, I can’t actually help you tomorrow on set, because I forgot I’m working.”

Well, that goes without saying.

“Kat, I think you’re going to have to be 1st Assistant Director, after all.”

Huh?

For a split second I feel the crushing vacuum of self-doubt and what-if fear rise up and make itself comfortable on my chest.

What. The HELL. Are you doing?

You REALLY think you’re going to be able to pull this off?

The icy grip of ambition locks its dizziness around my heart and I think I might cry. I’m lightheadedfallen prey to equal parts yearning for a future that I seem to be emerging into with each passing moment, and the unnerving feeling of a wavering trajectory.

Then I look at my amazing team. I look at my fantastic kid. I look at the momentum and belief that our friends, families, and sponsors have brought to our project.

And I know.

I don’t know how the next five days are going to roll out, but they will.

And they’ll change my life forever.

Follow along on Twitter at #filmsetmummy and see what happens next to a mummy who’s grabbing life by the balls, with her toddler in tow.

Aaaaaand ACTION.

Stay Positive,

xox Kat

P.S. The lead actor still doesn't know his lines, because he just spent the last three hours assembling a Barbie motorized jeep (the prop shipment we were waiting for). Ha. *Shakes head*