What is a divorce party? I have no clue. Let me amend that. I have actually been to a divorce party and I still don’t know what one is.
Technically a divorce party is the kind of shindig that brings people together to provide some closure and celebrate a fresh start in life. Kind of like a cross between a wake and a wedding shower.
And that’s the first place where the concept rattles around in my head like a pinball that refuses to sink. What exactly does a divorce party celebrate? Endings? Beginnings? Life in general?
I actually went to 'Divorce Party—the Largest Divorce Party in Canada' and it was a really cool event although I got the feeling that it was focused very much on divorce itself as opposed to fresh beginnings. It was half single’s mixer and half conference. It was pretty unique and definitely brought people together who were in the mood to celebrate, and also who wanted to learn about ways to keep their divorce healthy, smart, and happy. So that was interesting.
It was kind of about providing solidarity for people who were feeling lost after their split and needed a night out, or who were celebrating a new positive chapter in their life. Or who wanted to reinvent themselves, post-split. They had stylists on site and self-help/divorce experts speaking. It was sort of like a support group. With booze and a dress code.
Ok. Wait. See that’s where I got lost. What were we celebrating again? Why am I more confused than ever about what a divorce party is? And if it’s ‘whatever you want it to be’ than why are we calling it a divorce party?
Thank god that Katy Perry is jumping on the bandwagon. Maybe after I see the pics from her upcoming un-nuptial event I’ll have a better idea of what one should entail.
I mean, I get having a party because you want to celebrate new milestones, or new beginnings. Maybe that involves getting your close friends together, doing shots of tequila and bludgeoning some retro tuneage at your local karaoke bar.
Maybe it involves watching Wrath of Khan with your besties while concocting specialty drinks in your living room and discussing Hugh Jackman’s alarmingly ripped abdomen.
Maybe it involves streamers and champagne toasts, or fortune cookies and sparklers, or a makeover…or a trip.
Who knows, maybe you’re practical and actually doing a kind of ‘break-up shower’ where you get your friends to bring you the stuff that you had to give up in the split. Like a new toaster, or a new set of glassware. Huh. Hold on a sec. That idea? Gold. You’re welcome.
But here’s where I get existential.
Would a party by any other name not celebrate the same thing?
Or put another way, if you go to a house-warming, and your newly-divorced friend is the host, is it not actually a divorce party?
Do we need to call it a divorce party? Or can we just call it Saturday Night?
It just strikes me that if something is really about your transformation or reinvention, doesn’t calling it a 'divorce party' actually make it about the divorce and not about you?
Just putting that out there.
Or, is a divorce party actually the pre-party to the ‘You Party’ that comes after?
Why does this party concept make me feel like I'm staring at a math problem? I honestly think this idea is over my head. And I had a party when Pumpkin Spice Lattes came back to Starbucks this year.
Maybe I’m being too literal?
I’m a writer. It's been known to happen.
Help a girl out. What do you think about divorce parties? Awkward? Awesome? Would you have one? Have you had one?
Spill it!
Stay Positive,
XO Kat
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