With summer on the horizon, there's a seemingly endless number of activities for families to enjoy. Yet many attractions are simply off limits for families like mine. These destinations are too loud, too crowded, too noisy, too something.
When my son was diagnosed years ago, I was determined not to let autism limit my family life in any way. We would make our own happy memories, just like everyone else.
If you're a parent reading this, then chances are at some point your child has misbehaved. Maybe even in the past 24 hours. Usually such behaviour is readily explained. There was probably a reason they didn't want to do what you told them to. Maybe they were tired, or hangry, or something completely unrelated was bothering them.
Does your child fear the person in the white coat? Mine does. After a recent visit, my seven-year-old is now positively petrified of the dentist.
The fluoride plate caused him to gag. The scrape of enamel made his skin crawl. Then there were the repeated attempts to take X-rays by shoving a too-big implement into his mouth.
The dentist meant well. Still, as a parent the scene was painful to watch. More coaxing, more failed attempts. Meanwhile my son's anxiety skyrocketed. We left, frustrated (me) and in floods of tears (him).
Think yoga is just for stressed-out adults? Think again. The benefits of yoga can be reaped by preschoolers, and it's gaining popularity with the young set. Not just in typically developing kids, either.
I see you in the doctor’s office holding your breath. The room is small and stuffy. You are afraid of what he will say. You are terrified he will confirm your suspicions – that there is something wrong with your beautiful baby – are true. Instead, he reassures you. Come back in a few months, he says. And when you do, your step is light, confident. Your 18-month-old son has so many words now, many more than he did the last time you visited. Maybe your boy is fine after all. You probably overreacted. You’re a first-time mom.
Like a lot of kids (especially those with autism) my son is a picky eater. He's incredibly, sometimes inexplicably, selective about which foods are acceptable. For instance, he loves macaroni and cheese but only if it comes from a box. Any other kind of pasta is strictly off limits. And what was once perfectly palatable to him can change overnight.
Later this afternoon I am headed to pick up a bike rack for the car. And I'm publicly sharing this mundane errand, why? Because if someone had told me six months ago that we'd need a bike rack fitted to our car, I would have snort-laughed. Bicycle rides - as a family? Impossible. That's something other families do. It's an activity (one of many) I had mentally scratched off as being unrealistic or unachievable for us.
By the time you read this, schools across the country will be in full swing. Teachers may be easing into a groove with their new students. But for parents of children with special needs, those initial jitters never truly subside. For every great, gifted educator out there, there are countless others who are clueless and incompetent when it comes to teaching our children in the unique way they need to be taught.
Having a child on the autism spectrum can be a very insular and isolating experience. I spend so much time spilling my own thoughts and experiences as a mom that I sometimes wonder if I am the only one thinking what I'm thinking, feeling what I'm feeling.
Unlike some girls, I hadn’t grown up dreaming of babies, knowing the exact configuration of my future family. In fact, for a long time – even after I got married - babies didn’t really figure. Mr Green and I were happy, financially stable, well-travelled. We even had a dog, a four-legged baby of our own. Still, relatives pestered us to get on with the business of procreating.
