My daughter is three and a half now so clearly I've got parenting all figured out. I mean, she's alive and healthy. So... I win, right?
But back when I was a nervous father-to-be, I remember flipping through a few books that were intended to prepare me for life as a parent. Without fail, the books aimed at dads fell into one of two distinct camps:
One of the things I hoped this blog would do, quite modestly, is provide a more realistic middle ground portrayal of what it's like to be dad. But for this post, I figured I would open the flood gates: I asked the internet.
As one would expect, the answers were a mix of sincerity, humour and cold-hard reality. Just like fatherhood.
Prolific civic affairs tweeter and Ottawa Citizen reporter David Reevely went the practical route:
@joeboughner Gave this advice yesterday: Sleep. You are now living in a permanent emergency. The advice to sleep isn’t very novel, but
— David Reevely (@davidreevely) July 11, 2013
@joeboughner …the reason guys ignore it might be. You’re proud everything’s under control, you’re showing off how good you are at this.
— David Reevely (@davidreevely) July 11, 2013
@joeboughner But you are not appreciating the gravity of your situation.
— David Reevely (@davidreevely) July 11, 2013
Toronto ad-man Ed Lee deferred to the experts, both in-house and otherwise:
@joeboughner @YummyMummyClub mum is always right. Pick one parenting/pregnancy book and stick to it for advice.
— Ed Lee (@edlee) July 11, 2013
Ottawa dad blogger Chris Read argued the merits of getting in on the ground floor:
@joeboughner My advice is to be present. There is nothing more important than our children, so take the time to bond with them early on
— Canadian Dad (@CanadianDadBlog) July 11, 2013
Ottawa public servant, blogger and t-shirt entrepreneur Nick Charney reminded us all to give our spouse some time to feel human in the best way possible. A shower:
@joeboughner Do whatever it takes to give your partner the time they need to take a hot shower everyday; its their only alone time.
— Nicholas Charney (@nickcharney) July 11, 2013
Ottawa public servant, motorcycle enthusiast and amateur constitutional guru Tariq Piracha put things in perspective for overwhelmed poppas — sentiment shared, incidentally, by Rush fan and Ottawa communications guy Mark Buell:
@joeboughner The first 3 months can be really challenging, but no matter how hard you think it is, it's 1,000x harder for your partner.
— Tariq Piracha (@TariqPiracha) July 11, 2013
@joeboughner ...but my saving grace was a friend promising me that "every day gets better".
— Tariq Piracha (@TariqPiracha) July 11, 2013
@joeboughner the first three months are hard. Really, really hard. But it's harder for her than for you, so take a back seat.
— Mark Buell (@mebuell) July 11, 2013
@joeboughner and it sounds cliche, but time goes by incredibly fast. Relax and enjoy it, or you're going to miss out on a lot of good stuff.
— Mark Buell (@mebuell) July 11, 2013
Brad, owner of Canada's Flag King, recommended dads prepare for the fact that their loving spouse has a new object for her affection:
@joeboughner @YummyMummyClub Learn to accept that you have to share your wife with the baby, and don't be a baby because of the sacrifice.
— Canada's Flag King (@Flag_King) July 11, 2013
Ottawa dadvocate (yes, I just made that up) Keith Marble suggested we not be too hard on ourselves:
@joeboughner New Dads: Cut yrself some slack then redouble yr efforts, be preoactive & keep the big picture in mind.
— Keith Marble (@KeithMarble) July 11, 2013
CFL analogy guru Ian Stewart went sincere and insightful when he offered:
@PrincessDoubt @joeboughner Provide support to your new family. Be the rock, even if you don't feel it. Help around the house and breathe.
— Ian Stewart (@SuperFox77) July 11, 2013
Ottawa marketer and newly-minted Dad blogger Spencer Callaghan offered mix of philosophical and practical:
@joeboughner philosophical advice: your kid doesn't need *a* dad she needs you, her dad. Don't forget to be yourself.
— Spencer Callaghan (@Senturion) July 11, 2013
@joeboughner don't get caught up trying to be cookie cutter perfect dad. Your personality, experiences, unique perspective matter
— Spencer Callaghan (@Senturion) July 11, 2013
@joeboughner tactical advice: don't ever let your guard down on an undiapered child. Ever. That thing can go off at any time.
— Spencer Callaghan (@Senturion) July 11, 2013
Coffee guru Randy Little focused on the little things:
@joeboughner stop and look at your baby…often. Just look. And smile.
— Randy Little ☚ (@littlerandy) July 11, 2013
Carleton professor and cycling enthusiast Josh Greenberg offered both light and serious advice:
@joeboughner NEVER complain how tired u r to partner. NEVER complain u don't have time 4 exercise. NEVER say u miss pub night w/ ur buddies.
— Josh Greenberg (@josh_greenberg) July 11, 2013
@amyboughner @joeboughner more srsly: it's really hard; manuals arent recipes; talk lots; dont rush growing up process; time flies so savour
— Josh Greenberg (@josh_greenberg) July 11, 2013
IT professional and token westerner Shaun Guthrie brought up the importance of attitude:
@joeboughner its a lot about attitude. Make sure you keep a positive attitude around your kids
— shaunguthrie (@shaunguthrie) July 11, 2013
Patrick Denny, on the other hand, seems to be in some sort of competition, but at least he's a classy winner. That's valuable for kids to learn too, right?
@joeboughner Change all the diapers. Do all the bed times. Wear them as often as possible. Don't gloat when they learn to say "daddy" first
— Patrick Denny (@atomicnoggin) July 11, 2013
Joel MacDougall, a fairly newly-minted Dad himself, offered up this very, very practical bit of insight:
@joeboughner Enjoy the immobile phase while you can. #ThisGoesHere
— Joel MacDougall (@Highly_Touted) July 11, 2013
But of course, this is my blog, and so I reserve the last word for myself:
My own advice for Dads https://t.co/Jf7dcN9XkF
— Joe Boughner (@joeboughner) July 11, 2013
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