It’s. About. Time.
Oh sure, consumer goods companies have been all about responding to the demographic changes and breakdown of gender stereotypes when it comes to women taking over traditional male roles.
Pink hammers, pink tape measures—heck, Bic went so far as to introduce a pink pen. A pen which, despite the loud and snarky protests of a certain daytime talk show host, was clearly a substantial step forward in gender equality.
But what of us men? What of the males aged 28-40 demographic (the Lost Generation, as I call us). When do we finally get to benefit from a market tailored to us?
According to Supermarket Guru Phil Lempert, our time is now.
In an interview with YMC, Lempert talked about one of the major food trends looming for 2013—man aisles, complete with “male-oriented foods and other products to make shopping and impulse buying more targeted.
"It's everything from having an aisle to barbeque meat and sauces to catering to the health needs of men," Lempert explained. "As more men are doing the shopping, these stores have to cater to them. Men are hunters and gatherers—if they can't find what they need in your store they'll go somewhere else."
Amen. Pardon me while I wipe away a tear. As a father who does the bulk of the grocery shopping for my family (Yes we can!), I can’t tell you how thrilled I am to be catered to this way. So many hours wasted in the grocery store trying desperately to find BBQ sauce among those womanly condiments like red wine vinegar and mild salsa.
But why stop there, food industry? Sure, you’re serving my needs as a man but what about other overlooked and ignored parent groups?
Granted, a seismic shift in operations like the introduction of man aisles has to be all consuming for the merchandising teams in grocery chains across this nation so I’ll put my money with my mouth is and put forward a few ideas to get them started.
The Aisle of Deception
We all want our kids to eat healthy right? So let’s take all the sugary, processed crap your kids beg you for thanks to Saturday morning cartoons and put it in one aisle. Then, and here’s the key part, put the most inane, banal crap at either end. I’m talking Tupperware and disposable lasagna pans. Wheel your cart past, your kids see the boring stuff and you make it through unscathed. “Nothing down there but thermoses and pie plates. Sorry Timmy, I guess they don’t stock chocoblaster cereal at this store.” None will be the wiser.
Tempest in a Teapot Aisle
If you’re a connected parent, you know how hard it is to stay on top of all the flavor of the week boycotts we’re expected to get worked up about. I’m not talking about the actual ethical boycotts because of shady business practices or sketchy histories of labour abuses etc. No, I mean the social media shitstorms that spin up every time a CEO diddles an intern or some junior marketing person says something stupid on Twitter. You know, the boycotts we passionately observe for a day or two until we forget and move on to the next scandal? Wouldn’t it be great if there were an aisle dedicated to those products? We could just walk right past or, better yet, park at the end of said aisle and cast scorn on the uneducated who have no idea that there’s a YouTube video of that peanut butter brand’s CEO texting and driving. Ooh and there could be those squeaky saloon doors at either end like video rental stores used to use to close off the adult video section (you know, when video rental stores existed). The squeak of shame!
The Food Network Aisle
All parents like the Food Network right? So let’s cater to them! Why not have a theme aisle dedicated to some of the best programs. It could have a Chopped section full of random, obscure foods in blank packaging. Imagine the fun! Get home and start dinner, only to find you have to find a way to work Weeping Tibetan Candyfloss into your noodle caboodle casserole! Or there could be a Hell’s Kitchen section where the only things you can find are scallops, risotto and beef Wellingtons. Hell, why not go retro and have a Supermarket Sweep section? Obus Forme back rests and butcher cuts of prime meat as far as the eye can see.
And these are just the ideas I could rattle off with a few minutes and an extra large black coffee. Imagine if I had the R&D teams and demographic data that Big Grocery has at their fingertips!
Man aisles are just the start, people. The revolution in grocery shopping has begun. And I, for one, welcome it.
Printer-friendly version