10 Horrifying Easter Projects You'll Never Unsee

Easter mean spring and marks the season of renewal and rebirth. What sort of images does this usually conjure? Probably things like new grass, coloured eggs, or daffodils.

Or maybe for you it's pink demon rat cakes, taxidermy rodents, and more-than-slighty-obscene looking Easter egg towers. Whatever your Easter jam, here are 10 Easter ideas gone way wrong that you'll likely never forget. (Sorry.)

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Cat Fascinator

If you make this special party hat for your cat - and worse - you make him wear it, and then later on your house is totalled in a "mysterious fire," I think we could safely establish who left the burner on next to a roll of paper towels, Helen.

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Lamb of WTF?

WTF is this? Is it a cake? A meatloaf? The horrible misuse of a gelatin mold by a frat house? I can't even with this one. I think we can safely assume it was photographed only as evidence for some sort of criminal trial.

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'Tis the Season for Dead Stuffed Shit

Colouring books and sidewalk chalk are so 2012. Up your game, parents! Dead stuffed animals are the way to go this year. Nothing says "Spring has sprung!" like explaining the intricacies of the modern taxidermy process to an overtired kindergartener hopped up on goofballs.

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Martyr Mouse

The crafter here really hit the mark with this taxidermy mouse Jesus. Yep; they really... is "nailed it" appropriate in this context?

I've attended my share of primary grade Sunday school sessions, yet not once did I ever picture the Christian saviour as a white lab animal. Although to be fair, I attended lessons by boarding an old, painted school bus and was paid a quarter for every kid we could bring along to the church.

At least I think it was a church...

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That Thing You Made Right Before I Ended Our Friendship

Friendship litmus test: Do you think this thing is disgusting?

Yes: Come over Friday; we'll drink gin.

No: You are no longer to acknowledge my existence.

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Delicious Pockets of Disappointment

"MMMmm! What's that delicous smell, Mom?"

"Well, kids, that's the sweet aroma of Jesus' tomb after the two Marys and a Salome found it empty!"

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Easter-themed Urine Sponge

Easter is definitely under-represented in the "What can Uncle Roger pee on" category for holidays. Christmas has the poinsettia in the corner, Halloween has that lonely front yard scarecrow, and the Fourth of July has, of course, the campfire. Thank god for DIY-ers with more than basic crocheting skills and a few skeins of pastel acrylic worsted left over from when you emptied Gramma's basement. Let 'er rip, Uncle Rog!

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"Happy-Easter-Never-Sleep-Securely-Again" Cake

I grew up without a mom, so I dunno, maybe pink demon rat cakes are par for the course on a typical Easter table. When I was young it was usually some tulips or centrepiece of mini daffodils, but hey, this seems cool too.

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Egg Nightmares

The life of a devilled Easter-theme egg is not a #blessed one. First, you don't get fertilized. Life sucks. You're a yolk. As if that wasn't bad enough, now someone's mixed you with mayo, shoved you back into a gelatinous casing and stuck chopped olive "eyes" on your "face."

You'll be begging for the sweet release of death, except, ewww gross, you're a deviled egg and no one will eat you. You're just gonna get pasty and warm on Nana's kitchen counter until someone makes a joke about salmonella and then BOOM - you're compost.

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Chicken Hat of Sadness

How can a hat so cheerful in theory make me so sad? Ah yes; there it is: this hat is a stark reminder of the despair I felt in those dark post-divorce days when I stood, lonely and without purpose in the scrapbooking aisle of a Michael's craft store.