How do you feel about your body? Do you want to change it? When I look back at photographs of myself when I was sixteen and seventeen I wonder how I wasn't the most confident person in all the land, because despite whatever I thought then, the clarity that comes in looking back shows how amazing I was. I don't think I would have done anything drastic to change that teenage body if I had the chance, but it seems that many teens now have that option and are taking it.
Can you imagine how you'd feel if your teenager came up to you, and instead of requesting concert tickets or a pair of jeans for their birthday, they asked for a tummy tuck or boob job?
Body modification is a touchy subject even when the conversation is limited to adults. It can be dangerous and complications include shitty stuff like death and being close to death and hovering near death, and if procedures aren't done with restraint you can wind up looking and feeling worse than whatever the “problem” was you were trying to correct in the first place. But it's your body and logic dictates that humans are entitled to autonomy over their own bodies. But what if the body in question is one currently under your care and required travelling through your sex parts or a shit-ton of paperwork to acquire and also happens to be younger than the jar of bread and butter pickles in the back of your fridge?
Adults modify their bodies through tattoos, surgical procedures, and piercings all the time. Plastic surgery is a huge (and growing) field in medicine, and you can't throw a silicone implant in a crowded room without hitting, well, a silicone implant. If an adult makes the decision to have work done — be it a tummy tuck, a neck lift, or getting a hole punched in their cheek and replaced with a stained glass window – then I say more power to them. Adults have earned the right to make decisions on their own even if those decisions are really stupid. I’ve made decisions some people don’t agree with, like naming one of my children after a "Golden Girls" character and remaining in a relationship with a man who proudly owns the Titanic soundtrack. (And I also have a tattoo.)
My daughter asked for years to have her ears pierced. I married into a culture which typically pierces the ears of female infants, and I didn’t participate. By the time my daughter was out of diapers she had a jewellery box filled with tiny earrings, waiting for the day to be showcased in her little ears. I made her wait until she was ten, old enough (in my view) to care for the holes herself. Then, when she wanted an additional piercing in one ear, I made her wait again until she was 14. I explained that while many piercings will grow over if left unattended, it’s not always the way and one should give serious thought before they poke holes into any part of their body. (Bonus sex talk? CHECK.)
I’m not against piercing, and I’d love a nose piercing myself but the thought of pain keeps me from it. My boobs are plenty big already and I could care less about a little squish on belly because I just don’t care about things like “bikini season” or “being naked in public.” I think people who have beautiful, well-done ink look amazing and I applaud their creativity and dedication to what I believe is an art form. But if my 16-year-old daughter wanted my permission to get a tattoo, the answer would be a don’t-even-have-to-think-about-it NO. I know that there are many mature, responsible, intelligent and self-aware sixteen year-olds who are ready for tattoos — but none of them live in my house. If she had tattoos now they’d be full sleeves of One Direction or a back covered with pug puppies in strollers. And tattoos aren’t something easy to get out of, like jail or a marriage; they are forever things and in my view a sixteen year old should not be making "forever thing" decisions.
As for plastic surgery, that also gets a HELL NO. The only surgeries I’d even give more than a moment of consideration would be those which help to alleviate a medical condition or a physical characteristic which was obvious, unchangeable, and had lasting effect impact on their self esteem. I don’t care if her bra size was a 28 A-, an augmentation would never happen while she’s in my house. I’m talking about things like a rhinosplasty or ear pinning or dermabrasion for severe acne scarring and only if it was a problem for the child, and a serious one at that. The idea of Botox for teens is just ridiculous. Here’s what I would say to a teenager worried about wrinkles: You think you have wrinkles now? Wait until you have a teenager who is worried about wrinkles.
Read more from Jeni Marinucci on Teens:
Why Does This Job Get Harder the Longer You Do It?
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