I just wanted to post a quick thank-you video for fellow Yummy Mummy Club blogger Candace Alper for the personalized CD she sent Cole for his 2-week Birthday ;)

Okay, so I’ve taken several short breaks between feedings over the last few days to write out a full and detailed birth story.

For those of you who would rather read the short and sweet version, I’ve provided you with the Cole’s Notes version. This is also a very clever play-on-words (so please applaud me) because my son’s name is Cole. 
Clever. I know ;) 

The Cole’s Notes on Jen’s Birth Story:

Hello Everyone!

This post will be very short and sweet since I’m frantically writing it in between naps and feedings, but I wanted to share with you the exciting news:

Baby Warman is finally here!

On Thursday, March 1st at 3:11am my world changed forever when I got to meet my son: Cole Edward Warman.

I am bursting with love, and I can’t contain myself. I can’t even come up with anything clever, funny or witty to say. I’m speechless. And I cry a lot (happy tears).

So, I’m sitting at home bored because I thought I’d have a baby in my arms by now.

*sigh*

I was so good at keeping myself busy and distracted up until my due date, but now what?

The kitchen has been scrubbed, all my files are in order, and there is only so much trashy daytime TV

I can handle (which is usually 30 minutes worth) before I’m filled with a slothsome* guilt. 

*Yes, I made up that word, that’s how bored I am.

TODAY IS MY DUE DATE!!!

And if my baby is anything like me, he or she will arrive ten minutes early (I hate being late).

Did you hear that baby? No pressure though, I’ll love you no matter what. I’ll just love you a little more if you listen to me and come on your due date. (I’m kidding by the way) 

Alright ladies and gents,

It’s just about that time. The time where I will be pushing my body to it’s most extreme challenge to date: child birth. 

I’m pretty sure Iron Man competitions have nothing on what I’m about to go through! (Okay, that’s a lie). 

Phrases like “pushing a watermelon out of a straw” come to mind, and as much as I think I know what to expect—I have no idea what to expect!

Having a network of other Moms is as necessary as wearing a good bra. 

At first when you find out you’re pregnant, you might think “It’s not a big deal, I can do this alone.” And then you try running around the track a few times (sans a bra) and realize “Damn, this sucks. My boobs hurt!” (and if you have some big girls, you might even be sporting a black eye or two!) 

Well, it’s week 38 (eek!) and I’ll be honest with you: I’ve really enjoyed my pregnancy. Even with the aches and pains here and there, I’ve been really fortunate. I’ve even been fortunate enough to escape most of the heinous pregnancy-related comments that friends and random strangers alike are capable of dishing out. 

I am one part inner-natural-hippie chick and one part western-medicine-makes-me-feel-safe-woman. Therefore, when it comes to making a birth plan I lie somewhere in between choosing IV drugs and munching on tree bark while imagining my vagina is a blossoming flower.
 

Dear Pregnancy,

I want you to know that as much as I still love you, I’m not in love with you anymore. I feel like the honeymoon phase of the second trimester is over, and I’m ready to move on and try new things. Don’t worry pregnancy, it’s not you...it’s me.

Okay, that’s a lie. It’s totally you!

I loved my second trimester. If I could high-five my second trimester, I would. We’d probably even have a secret hand-shake that ended with a fist pump. In fact, I wish I could take my second trimester on a date, that’s how much I loved my second trimester. Except we wouldn’t be able to have wine, and that would suck. But at least we could slow dance, and hold each other fondly—gazing into one another’s eyes...

*Insert happy-second-trimester-slow-dance dream sequence here*

Alright Yummy Mummies, jump into your hot-tub-time-machines, and let me take you back to my first trimester...

The First Trimester:

I am currently 33-weeks-pregnant and am eating Jelly Bellies at 9:29am. I had a bowl of Bran Flakes for breakfast, so I thought I’d counter that healthy choice with an unhealthy one. Life is about balance, after all!

Food choices aside, I’d like to take you back a couple of trimesters to the beginning of my pregnancy journey. So jump into my DeLorean as we time travel back to June, 2011...

* insert time travel sound effect here *

Hello Yummy Mummiers!

My name is Jen Warman (formerly known as Jen Schlumberger, and sometimes known as a combo of the two names: Jen Warmberger) and I am thrilled to be blogging as part of the Yummy Mummy Club! So thrilled in fact, that I just squealed with excitement and peed a little. I’m going to blame that one on the baby that just kicked my bladder...Oh the joys of being 32-weeks-pregnant!