If you have Facebook and you also leave your house from time-to-time, there is a good chance you've found yourself in this situation:
You're on your way to work, the mall, your gynecologist appointment, and you bump into Emily. A friend from high-school who you haven't seen in years. You excitedly say hello, and ask her "How are you doing?" But you instantly realize, you know exactly how she is doing.
Categorize this under: FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS for sure, but I'm sure you can agree...
Trying to fold a fitted sheet is damn annoying! It is I just burned my tongue on hot coffee and now I'll feel the effects of that all day long annoying? No. But it's still frustrating.
For those of you who color code your linen closets, you probably nearly have an aneurysm trying to get your fitted sheets "just so," am I right?
Before I had my first baby, I prepared myself not to sleep for the first four months. I don't know why, but "four months" was the time frame in my head that made sense.
Four YEARS later, I'm realizing just how naive I was, "Oh silly idealistic first-time mom! How sweet, really."
If you're a parent, you know that you're always waking up. For one reason or another, from the moment your baby is born until they turn eighteen (I've been told).
I saw this image in my FB feed five seconds ago, and I got excited. "That's so cute! I want to try that." And then, point five seconds later I also thought, "What the hell am I thinking?"
I'm about to share something very personal and embarrassing with you guys: the contents of my purse.
Whenever I get a new bag, I start out with the best of intentions, and a declaration to the universe. A purse pledge, that sounds something like this:
"Dearly beloved new bag that smells divine and sweet. I will NOT turn you into a junk pile/trash can/collector of random shit. I will carry you proudly, and stroke you gently with love and affection..." (I'm making my husband jealous). And then two months later, what happens?
Maybe it's the German in me, but I've always had a fascination with poo.
(Is that a discriminatory thing to say? But I can sort of get away with it, because I'm German? What if I make that statement while wearing lederhosen and eating schnitzel? Did I just make this situation worse? Possibly...)
When it comes to people who constantly cancel at the last minute (or just don't show up at all) I truly believe that Mom's are the worst offenders. I'm sorry, but it's true. Mom's are chronic bailers.
Not all moms, but most moms. And we have good reasons!
They're roughly three feet tall. They can't quite pronounce "sh" words yet. They have small hands, and yes, they sometimes smell like cabbage. They bring us copious amounts of joy and within seconds they can have us on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
Here are the Universally Irritating Things That Toddlers Do. If you have one of these beings in your house, I'm sure you can relate...
1. Every day around 5pm, you're guaranteed to hear this phrase "Dinner is yucky!"
