So I thought I should let you all know that I've started dating again. My husband is very supportive & always asks how my dates went. And even though this is unfamiliar territory for me, I've really been enjoying myself and have had some great dates!
Now before you get your panties in a knot, I should probably clarify that I am talking about MOM DATES. That's right. As a new Mom, you want to meet other new moms, so.... You go on MOM DATES!
If you're like me, you might not have a lot of friends (or a lot of friends nearby)...wait for it—there is more to this sentence...that also have babies ;)
Therefore, you need to reach out and meet new friends. Friends who have baby vomit stains on their shoulders. Friends who know what meconium, episiotomy, and VBAC mean. Friends who understand what it means when you have to cancel lunch dates because you didn't sleep and it's actually dangerous to drive.
So...where do you meet these new Mom friends? How does one go about Mom-Dating? What does one wear on a Mom Date? What if your new Mom-friend has an ugly baby? (Not all babies are cute, let's be honest here)
I will attempt to answer all of your excited questions one at a time. In list form. (If you know me, you know I love lists)
You can meet new mom friends in a variety of places. Some places are more ideal than others. For example. You could meet a new mom WHILE you're in the hospital. You could walk into her room as she's in labour (I recommend around 7cm dilated) and say "Hey, nice to meet you! My name is ____. Once you're done here, wanna grab a coffee?" However, there is a good chance she'll call hospital security and you won't hear from her. Soooo, you could resort to the internet—like I did. I joined a birth club on birthcentre.ca and we've since formed our own private facebook group. I've gone out on a few occasions with a couple of the Mom's I've met on there, and at the end of June we're planning a GTA Mom date at a nearby park!
Additionally you could also meet other new moms through your local health nurse / hospital (they often know of play groups in your area where local mom's meet up on a weekly basis). You could also scout out kid-friendly coffee shops (there are quite a few of these in Toronto) & just hang out there with your baby.
Failing these suggestions, you could always chill in the drugstore for hours on end, and when you see a woman purchasing a pregnancy test, you could say "Wanna be friends in 10 months?"
Well, it's very important to be bold and not worry about getting shot down. Motherhood can be a lonely world if you're always cooped up surrounded by the same four walls. Therefore, you need to push yourself outside of your comfort zone if you're someone who doesn't usually like to initiate. Other new moms know what it's like, and I'm sure 99% of them would jump at the opportunity to meet with you one afternoon for a walk or a cup of coffee—just to get out of the house. But please use your mommy safety discretion: if your new online friend "Mary" wants to meet in a dark alley behind a strip joint at 2am, it might not be the best idea. I'm just saying.
So choose a place in between where you both live & meet up for a fun hour long activity. This way, you can assess if you'd like to re-schedule a second date. If, within that hour, you realize that your new mom friend isn't someone you'd like to date again you can always pinch your baby so that they start crying and say "Oh sorry—I have to go. Time for a nap." (I'm kidding about the pinching btw, but you know what I'm getting at). I guess you could also just fart, blame it on the baby, and say "I need to go change her diaper" and then just get in your car and speed away!
Wear something you feel comfortable in, and if you're breastfeeding—make sure it's something that you can easily pull a boob out of. I almost wore a full length dress once that wasn't accessible from the top. Therefore I would have had to lift up my ENTIRE dress just to feed Cole. Luckily, I caught myself and realized before I left the house.
Try not to gasp, and remind yourself: their baby will probably grow up to be ten times better looking than your pretty baby. I have a theory that if you're a really ugly baby, then you grow up to be beautiful. You only have so many "pretty" cards and it's not fair for someone to be gorgeous their whole life, so....
Alright, that's it for now ladies. I see little baby feet flailing in the bassinet. Nap time is over—and I haven't even peed yet. Are you flattered that I chose to write you all a blog vs. empty my bladder? ;)
Lots of love to all the summertime new mummies out there! Doesn't the nice weather make the sleepless nights a little less painful?