Recently I've been feeling an urge to eat my children, so I figured I should write about my love for them before I actually take a bite out of their soft little arms.
I don't know what it is about extreme love that makes us want to place our chompers on new baby skin, but we do. We all do. Right? We take little nibbles of their toes and cheeks. We bury our faces in their hair and take long deep inhalations, hoping to capture that smell and memory for all of eternity.
I've found myself doing this a lot lately. Maybe it's because I'm halfway through my maternity leave, and I know this might be my last baby, so I'm trying to cherish every last work-free moment. Or maybe it's because my daughter is entering a fun age where her personality is really coming through, and my son is just pure awesomeness 99% of the time. Whatever the reason, I'm loving this time, and I want to make it last. If only I could patent a technology that would capture and store emotion so I could recall these moments and relive them again whenever I was having a bad day. Truly, there would be no better medicine in the world.
I look at other Mom's around me who have older children in kindergarten, high school, even University, and I think, "Wow, that will be me someday. Someday soon. It's going to happen. So. Fast."
I've never been one to wish time to stand still, but right now, for the first time in my life, I sort of wish I had that magical power. So I'm doing my best to soak it all in.
I find myself staring at them, listening to them, enjoying them, every moment I can. When I'm driving, and stopped at a light, I look at Cole in the backseat, kicking his feet happily, singing the Itsy Bitsy Spider. Right now his biggest concern in life is that he wants a toy impact hammer...
Maeve sits snuggly beside him, chewing on a toy and babbling something incoherent. I'm pretty sure her biggest mission in life is to do anything and everything her brother does. She's a fierce and determined little girl. I love it.
I sometimes close my eyes when I'm squeezing them and try to fill them with my love. Hoping they can feel it, on a cellular level, for the rest of their lives. "Remember this. Remember this love. I don't even know how to say it in a way that can express the magnitude of feeling I have for you, sweet child."
And then...out come the teeth. Small little nibbles, deep inhalations. Ten thousand kisses. Sweet little giggles. Sleepy eyes, heavy heads. We snuggle. We sleep. We love.