I love breastfeeding. I do. I love it. It's been easy (thankfully), it's economical (woo-hoo), and for me it's been a great bonding experience.
What I don't love is how my breasts have turned into shrivelled little ballsacks, but oh well, I'll deal with those later. And by "deal with those," I mean place them on top of expensive water-filled bras. Or fold them into origami shaped swans. Either or.
But today let's focus on the positives, shall we? Let's talk about the health benefits of breastfeeding, and the natural beauty of a mother feeding her child. Let's all join nipples and sing kumbaya as we frolick through the fields . . .
Okay, I agree. To celebrate and bring awareness, I'll share with you some of my favourite and frequent breastfeeding positions. Sound like fun? Here we go . . .
This one is classic. It's called: "Mama's Full Bladder & The Crying Hungry Baby."
I pretty much do this one daily. It's called: "Out For A Stroll While Feeding My Baby. Hands-free."
I call this one: "Two Car-Seats Side By Side Makes Feeding In The Carseat Difficult . . . But Not Impossible."
Or this one . . . "We Were Having A Shower, And Then You Saw The Boob And Realized You Were Hungry."
Or this classic technique called: "Lower Into The Crib While Still Latched, Then Release (And Tiptoe Out Of The Room)."
Or this semi-awkward pose called: "My Baby Is A Shithead In The Car And Screams, So I'm Feeding You IN Your Carseat And Hope That You'll Go The F*ck To Sleep So I Can Drive."
(And yes, I realize how this image could be photoshopped into something inappropriate. My mind is dirty, and I've already gone there—so I win.)
Now tell me (so I don't feel alone), what are some of your favourite or awkward breastfeeding positions?