Despite the fact that I consider myself a feminist, I can't bring myself to grow a full-on '70s bush. I just can't do it.
I'm sorry. I guess I'm part of "that" generation. The generation that just can't stand pubic hair. Maybe I've been brainwashed by the media? Maybe I'm not a very good feminist? (Question: is body hair a pre-requisite for feminism? Probably not, but it seems like all the good ones have pit hair, at least . . . )
And now that I'm 40 weeks (and 2 days) pregnant (not that I'm counting), one might think, "Surely, you don't care about pubic hair at this point, right?"
I still care. I can't help it. In fact, it's the least I can do to still feel somewhat sexy and womanly (cue the rage of the avid bush-growers). Does my OB think that I'm a stripper when he does my cervical exam? Yeah, maybe. Or maybe he's thankful that he doesn't have to pull out his hedge trimmers just to gain access.
I'm sorry if this is too much information, but I'm just being honest, and I know I'm not alone. This has actually been a common theme of discussion amongst the various birth clubs and online mom groups I belong to.
"Is it inappropriate of me to shave before my Dr's appointment? Or is it more inappropriate if I DON'T shave?"
"How are you ladies managing to groom with such a large belly?"
"I've given up all hope. It's a jungle down there..."
I've heard it all, and have come up with a list of tips and tricks if you are someone who is interested in keeping things groomed throughout your pregnancy.
TIP #1: DON'T GET A BRAZILIAN WHEN YOU'RE PREGNANT (Unless you're a sucker for pain): Your lady parts are already engorged with so much blood and are quite sensitive. It will hurt a lot more, and probably isn't worth the pain. You might want to look into alternative methods for the next 9 months or so.
TIP #2: USE A MIRROR: When the belly gets too big and you can no longer see what you're doing, check your blind spot and use a mirror to help!
TIP #3: ASK YOUR PARTNER TO HELP: Now there is no way in hell I'd let my husband anywhere near my vagina with a razor (I barely trust him with nail clippers), but if your spouse has excellent fine motor skills, this could be the way to go for you!
TIP #4: HAVE BLIND FAITH: Even though you can't see what the heck you're doing, just go for it. Use a good razor, take your time, and hope for the best. If you miss a few spots, I'm sure no one will judge you. Heck, you tried!
So, if you're someone who is on the fence about grooming throughout your pregnancy, just think about it—you'll be saving the Doctor a step if you need to be stitched up after labour (won't need to shave you first)! And despite the fact that your ankles are swollen and you have a bundle of hemorrhoids, at least your vagina will look fantastic! Maybe you'll even want to pull out the be-dazzler? *Note* I've never gone that far . . .
If you'd like to read more about being stitched up after childbirth, check out my blog post entitled 5 Things To Say When Being Stitched Up After Childbirth.
Or, if you'd like to read about my optimistic view of pregnancy, check out The Perks of Pregnancy.