Alright, my son is 14 months old, so we definitely have this whole "parenting" thing down now (sure we do...) I can't even remember what life was like before I had my son. What did I do when I came home from work? I must have had so much free time! Why didn't I run marathons? Or write novels? Or solve the majority of the worlds problems? Surely I had bucketloads of time to do all of these things!
Well, those days are long gone, and now I don't have time to fart let alone even think about writing a novel.
SIDE NOTE: I do, however, still want to write a book about farting. Well...pooping. Not poop itself, but the social aspect of pooping. People have some very interesting rituals/thoughts/feelings about pooping. It's fascinating.
And you know what else is fascinating? (Do you like how I transitioned out of the poo-talk there?) I find it interesting, that in these past 14 months I haven't done a lot of reading about "how to parent." I've sort of just rolled with the punches, read some blog posts, followed my intuition, and chatted with a bunch of other moms. I'm a hands-on learner, and nothing is more hands-on than being a mom.
But then the other day, it hit me: maybe I should be doing some reading about parenting styles and philosophies about learning, etc.. I've always considered sending my son to a Montessori school for a couple of years before he starts grade school — but truthfully, I don't really know what Montessori is all about...
I found out months after I was natrually doing it that I believe in "attachment parenting." But who knew?!? Not me. I was just mothering. I didn't know it was a thing.
Geez. When did everything get so confusing? So many labels, groups, styles, beliefs.
And then this is where HICK JEN battles HIPPIE JEN:
HICK JEN THINKS THINGS LIKE THIS:
-You don't need books to teach you how to parent (unless you're looking for answers in a certain area)
-I don't want to spoil my child. He needs to be uncomfortable sometimes. He needs to learn to get up when he falls.
-If you overthink every word you speak to your child, what kind of life is that?
-Go outside and play with a rock and a stick. Use your imagination.
-If I dote on you too much and over think things too often you're going to become a spoiled brat who can't handle anything in life.
HIPPIE JEN THINKS THINGS LIKE THIS:
-I should have done baby sign language. Shit.
-Maybe my son should have mini-sized furniture fit for him, and not use things like sippy cups (as suggested by Montessori). His bed should be on the floor so he doesn't feel caged in and he can come and go as he pleases. This gives him freedom, and choice. I want him to feel free and confident to make his own decisions!
-We need to be educated and aware about how we talk to our children so that we don't cause them emotional harm/distress. I want my son to be strong and confident, and ultimately I don't want to be doing or saying things that are really going to mess him up. What if I do the opposite of everything Andrea Nair says about thriving with a toddler in her recent blog post? I'm definitely guilty of saying "please" when asking my son to do something...
And then, after writing this very list I think I've realized I'm okay with being Hick Jen sometimes and Hippie Jen other times. I'm an educated woman who is smart and loving. I have an amazing mother who is taking an active role in raising my son. I have an awesome husband who is sensitive yet strong. I'm not too worried about how my son will turn out.
Maybe I'll send him to a Montessori school during the week, and then send him up to his redneck Liberal-hating Grandpa's farm on the weekend to chop some firewood and plough the fields. Seems like a good balance, I'd say.
Tell me, what kind of parent are you? What are your personal thoughts/philosophies about raising children? Or perhaps you've written a book, and suggest I read it? ;)
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