Jen Warman: New Freakin' Mummy

Jun
20
2016
friendship, facebook, social media, socially awkward, jen schlumberger, jen warman, comedy, real life situations

If you have Facebook and you also leave your house from time-to-time, there is a good chance you've found yourself in this situation:

You're on your way to work, the mall, your gynecologist appointment, and you bump into Emily.  A friend from high-school who you haven't seen in years. You excitedly say hello, and ask her "How are you doing?" But you instantly realize, you know exactly how she is doing.

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May
26
2016

Body Love, Diets, and All That Crap

SO MANY SHAKES. SO MANY DIETS. SO LITTLE FUCKS TO GIVE.

Shake off the shake diets | YummyMummyClub.ca

There sure is a shit ton of dieting going on these days. I don't know if it's my age or the rise of network marketing businesses that are capitalizing on people's insecurities - but I feel like I'm constantly looking at "before and after" photos and "here's my food" pictures. 

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May
19
2016

What Do You Do When You Disagree Over How Many Kids to Have?

HE WANTS TWO. I WANT THREE. WHAT DO WE DO?

how many kids to have, do you disagree about kids, should you have one kid, two kids, three kids, 2 kids, 3 kids, how many kids to have?

At first, I thought we could just play rock, paper, scissors and call it a day. "Whoever wins gets to decide how many kids we have?" But then I realized I'm bad at that game - and it probably isn't the best way to make such a big life decision.

So then, I decided to let time make the decision for us. "Ahh, the easy way out!" Surely, over time one of us would change our minds. Then - no one has to make a decision. Hurray!

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May
05
2016

To the Person I Love So Much I Can Barely Put it Into Words

TO MY MOM, ON MOTHER'S DAY, AND EVERY DAY.

Apr
22
2016
free range kids, kids having fun, boys smashing things, kids being destructive, rough play, good for kids, playing outside, outdoor fun, kids being kids, nature, parenting

I laugh with my kids a lot. We jump on beds daily. We make huge messes. We bake together, and I let them play in mud puddles fairly often.

Kids and the right to play | YummyMummyClub.ca

But one thing I've realized lately is that I'm getting annoyed with my 4 year-old son when he's doing things that are totally normal for kids to do.

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Apr
08
2016

Confessions of a Snack Hoarder

I PROMISE TO TELL TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH...

Need some help folding fitted sheets? Jen has you covered | Humor | YummyMummyClub.ca

Categorize this under: FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS for sure, but I'm sure you can agree...

Trying to fold a fitted sheet is damn annoying! It is I just burned my tongue on hot coffee and now I'll feel the effects of that all day long annoying? No. But it's still frustrating. 

For those of you who color code your linen closets, you probably nearly have an aneurysm trying to get your fitted sheets "just so," am I right?

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Mar
21
2016

This is Why You Can't Sleep if You're a Parent

I DOUBT THERE IS A PARENT OUT THERE WHO HASN'T EXPERIENCED THIS

If you're a parent, you know that you're always waking up. To illustrate this experience, I've made this video. Enjoy. | YummyMummyClub.ca

Before I had my first baby, I prepared myself not to sleep for the first four months. I don't know why, but "four months" was the time frame in my head that made sense.

Four YEARS later, I'm realizing just how naive I was, "Oh silly idealistic first-time mom! How sweet, really." 

If you're a parent, you know that you're always waking up. For one reason or another, from the moment your baby is born until they turn eighteen (I've been told).

If they're not hungry, it's their teeth.

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Mar
13
2016

The Best All Natural Eye Make Up Remover

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. I PROMISE.

all natural eye make up remover, eye make up remover, make-up remover,  eye make-up remover, natural cosmetics, comedy

Every morning I wake-up with smeared mascara somewhere on my face.

I don't wear much make-up at all, but I do wear mascara almost every day. What I don't do, is wash it off properly before I go to bed (I know: terrible!)

Over the years, I have tried many different kinds of eye-make up remover, and I've always felt frustrated. It's either too oily, or it doesn't actually work and I end up trying to use soap. Then I get soap in my eye, it burns, turns red, I swear and then say "I'm never doing that again!" Until I forget, and do it again.

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Feb
28
2016

I'm Feeling the Weight of Four...and It's Heavy

A LETTER TO COLE ON HIS FOURTH BIRTHDAY

turning four, four year olds, birthdays, motherhood, letter to my son on his fourth birthday, different stages, love, cole, jen warman, cole warman

Oh Cole, I'm feeling the weight of you turning four, and it's heavy.

Not every age comes with the same weight. Two and three somehow didn't feel so big, but four? This one is heavy. 

When I close my eyes and try to imagine you as a newborn, it feels so far away most days. I almost forget what you were like as an infant, and this makes me quite sad. Though I know I'll never truly forget, because you are an extension of myself and my arms will always remember the weight of your newborn body. 

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Feb
07
2016

When Date Night Turns Into Fight Night

WE SET OUT WITH THE BEST OF INTENTIONS....

When Date Night Becomes Fight Night |YummyMummyClub.ca

Everyone says having date nights as a couple when you have kids is important.

It's important, they say, to carve out time to be alone together. It's important, they say, not to talk about the kids during this time - and to focus on yourselves as a couple. 

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Feb
01
2016

The Friendships List - What Kind Are You?

HOW MANY OF THE FRIEND-TYPES ON THIS LIST DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE? TAG THEM, AND LET THEM KNOW!

How many of these types are your friends, and which kind of friend are you? | Social | YummyMummyClub.ca

Do you remember meeting your first friend?

Not likely. You were probably four years-old and met at school. She liked sand. You liked sand. Boom. Friends for life.

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Jan
05
2016

That Time January Bullied Me Into Making a Resolution

I KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO BUT, DAMNIT. I JUST DID.

Sometimes the biggest success is when you know you don't have to but you do it anyway. | Resolutions | YummyMummyClub.ca

So, it's the NEW YEAR!

No pressure, but...

Have you resolved to finally get that Olympian-fit body you've been longing for? And give up carbs, gluten, sugar, caffeine, and oxygen? Are you going to focus on finding your inner "quiet" so you can be a louder "you"? Are you going to recycle gum wrappers and stop using water bottles and never buy leather or paper coffee cups or stupid toys at the dollar store? 

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Dec
15
2015

Toys & Gadgets I'm NOT Buying For Christmas

THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT TOYS OUT THERE! AND SO SO SO MANY TERRIBLE ONES!

toys not to buy, christmas toys to avoid, worst toys and gadgets of 2015, christmas toys, best toys of 2015, christmas shopping, stupid toys, waste of space toys, christmas wish list, dont buy this

Christmas is almost here *insert incredible amounts of excitement* and I must say, I thoroughly enjoy walking through malls and stores at this time of year. (Is that strange?) It's probably because we don't buy gifts for anyone in our family except for the kids - therefore shopping is an enjoyable experience. Our Christmas is 98% stress free, so we can focus on Baileys, sugar cookies, and walks to look at Christmas lights. 

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Nov
25
2015

I Snuggle the $hit Out of My Kids

I'M AN AFFECTION JUNKIE AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO ADMIT IT

I Snuggle The $hit Out Of My Kids - Why I'm an Affection Junkie and I'm Not Afraid to Admit It | Parenting | YummyMummyClub.ca

There is something you should all know about me: I love hugs. If I've just met you, and you seem even remotely nice, I'll probably hug you.

Sorry.

If you're one of my close friends, it's very likely that I'll pet you. Repeatedly. And if you're one of my kids? It is 100% reasonable to assume that I'll take every opportunity I can to squeeze, snuggle, tickle, kiss, or pet you. I can't. Get. Enough. 

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Nov
17
2015

5 Reasons I'm Excited to See "The Good Dinosaur"

THE NEW DISNEY PIXAR FILM YOU'LL WANT TO SEE (OH, AND PROBABLY TAKE YOUR KIDS TO AS WELL!)

Disney Pixar The Good Dinosaur | YummyMummyClub.ca

A couple of months ago I was fortunate enough to attend a screening event and presentation of an upcoming Disney Pixar film, The Good Dinosaur.

And on November 25th it's finally going to be in theatres! Here are five reasons I'm totally pumped to see it:

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peanut butter snail snack, kids snacks, creative snacks for kids, food art, over the top parenting, jen warman, comedy, giving up on parenting

Confession time.

I saw this image in my FB feed five seconds ago, and I got excited. "That's so cute! I want to try that." And then, point five seconds later I also thought, "What the hell am I thinking?"

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Oct
27
2015

Martinis & Motherhood: Tales of Wonder, Woe, and WTF?!

You'll Laugh, You'll Cry, You'll Drink Martinis

motherhood, stories, book review, martinis and motherhood, shannon day, tara wilson, busy life, mom life, poo stories, vagina video games, laughter, crying

A couple of months ago, our editor at Yummy Mummy Club asked us group of bloggers, "Would anyone like to review the book Martinis & Motherhood: Tales of Wonder, Woe, and WTF by Shannon Day and Tara Wilson?"

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Oct
05
2015

If You're a Woman There's a 90%* Chance You Like This

* ACCORDING TO MY VERY UN-SCIENTIFIC STUDIES AT LEAST...

love tickles and touches

If I had to make a list of the things I love the most in life, it would look something like this:

1. MY KIDS & FAMILY

2. BACK & ARM TICKLES

3. CEREAL

4. CHOCOLATE & WINE

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