Secret Mom Behaviours (SMB) are the little luxuries that keep us happy and Mr. Christie's Fruit Krisps asked some of the moms at YMC to share theirs with you. As the kids head back to school, hopefully you'll have time to indulge in a little SMB, too.
Being a mom of the sixties, I believed all the television sitcoms claiming that bringing up kiddies is complete joy. I was indoctrinated with promises of family life always being happy and serene and that any and all tears can be quickly kissed away by the other loving members of your family. Now that I'm safely on the other side of 70 with two wonderful grown daughters and four thriving grandchildren, I can tell you that it's all a myth. It's hogwash!
Please don't misunderstand. I love my family and I have always been a very devoted mom but juggling family life was not always a joy. There were tears (both the kids and my own), complaints, measles, mumps, chicken pox, homework, laundry and thousands of meals that had to be put on the table. There were school buses, notes to teachers, shopping, snow storms, meltdowns, kitty litter and toilets that got blocked. Add to that my work outside the home and by the end of day I was drained both emotionally and physically. I desperately needed replenishing.
That's where my wacky neighbour Flo came in. Flo had three kids, wore long colorful dresses, and was game to try any and all crazy ideas. I just knew we would be longtime friends when one winter afternoon she invited me outside to make snow angels. Snow angels? That's for kids, not thirty-year-olds, I thought. Then I thought again. Why not? And I joined her on her lawn where the freshly fallen snow was highest and thickest. We got snow down our boots and in our hair and in our ears. Really! Oh my goodness we wallowed in the white fluffy stuff and laughed till we cried. I'm sure our staid neighbours peeked from behind their sheer white living room drapes and decided then and there that we were insane. We didn't care. We loved it and it gave us renewed energy to care for our kids when they came home from school.
Did we ever tell our family about it? Absolutely not. It was our guilty pleasure, our secret mom behaviour (SMB). We had that time in our day when we shed our responsible mommy roles and just played like kids. Not telling anybody afterwards made it twice as much fun.
Throughout the years that my children were in school I built on that concept of 'guilty pleasure' time and used it to let me be just plain me. Not Mommy, not wife, just plain Evelyn. After the mad morning noisy emotional scramble to get the kids out the door I breathed a sigh of relief and welcomed the absolute stillness and calm in the house. It was the blessed quiet that I loved. It was when I allowed myself to dream. It was when I gave in to my very own creative thoughts and reveries without anyone tugging at me. I was never a huge fan of housework but it was easier to make beds and dust and cook dinner while my brain and my soul embarked on their very own fanciful journeys. It was my way of easing into the day and everything that that day entailed.
Looking back I understand that much of who I became later in life had their beginnings in those post coffee, solo morning meditations.
Years later I was the main character in a photo shoot that harkened back to my days as a wife and mother. The fun results were recreated for posters for all my girlfriends who already had grown-up families. I'm absolutely positive that these parodied ideas were born during my SMB reveries many years earlier.
One year I applied that creative thinking and secret mom behaviour to our family holiday. I organized a Christmas trip to Florida but didn't tell the children anything at all about the plan. For weeks in advance while everyone was at school I shopped, gathered their beach clothes, towels, and shoes, and packed their suitcases in complete secrecy. At five in the morning of the day we were to travel I woke them and told them to get dressed. We were going on a beach holiday. Right now! Can you imagine their excitement? And, Gold Star for me who didn't have to argue with them about what to put in their suitcases. They had no choice, SMB saved the day and we had a fabulous vacation.
We women absolutely need those times when we can relax completely and do the things we love to do. Whether it be making angels in the snow or planning a surprise or practicing your belly dance routines it's what gets all of us over those humps when we just can't bear to cook another meal, or wash another load of clothes.
Secret Mom Behaviours help us to 'fill up' again and be the loving mothers and wives we all strive to be. So do yourself a favor. Indulge in your secret pleasure. The happier you are the happier your family will be.
What is your Secret Mom Behaviour?
We wanna know!
We're partnering with Mr. Christie’s Fruit Krisps to find out about your #SMB.
They're giving away a gift basket filled with Mr. Christie's snacks to three moms. Then one of these lucky moms is also going to win a $300 Visa Gift Card to help fund her secret behaviours!