What We Teach Our Girls By Getting Wrinkles

As much as I understand the logic of genetics, I am continually amazed at how my daughter is morphing into a mini-me. Not only does she look like I did at her age, but she is also absorbing my very outspoken philosophies on beauty and self esteem into the way she sees the world. 

In advance of my upcoming birthday, I asked her to make me a video explaining why she thinks her mother is beautiful. Have a look at this! 

I couldn't be more proud watching this video, witnessing how she has internalized some complicated concepts into her ten-year-old psyche. The idea that beauty comes from within, that superficial prettiness pales in comparison to depth of character, genuinely connects with her. When I compliment her, it's about how strong, hard-working, fit, and focused she is, and how that inner power makes her outer beauty shine. I love watching her receive these words of praise. Her smile lights up the room.

My daughter comes from a family of strong matriarchs. My mother, her grandmother, is a powerhouse who insists on Aging Disgracefully. As well as travelling around the world at the still young age of 74, my mother adamantly refuses to succumb to society's pressures of trying to look younger than her years. Her approach to aging is to LIVE young, to continue to evolve, experience new ideas, create, and be true to her passions in life. She sparkles with vitality and personality. She is undeniably beautiful.

My grandmother, although more traditional than my mom on the surface, was also a remarkable woman. A businesswoman later in life, a star bridge player well into her nineties, and a barometer for kindness, my grandmother was a quiet force of goodness to be reckoned with.

And my great Aunt Mindy, who died last week in her hundredth year, left Montreal in the '40s to pursue a career in New York City. I grew up visiting my always-dressed-to-the-nines aunt in Manhattan, her shock of white hair consistently styled simply and flawlessly. Like my mom and my grandmother, Mindy was comfortable in her own quirky skin, a feminist before her time who played a big part in shaping who I am today.

My daughter is surrounded by powerful women who call out the beauty industry for imposing unrealistic and unhealthy images of girls and women. For years we've pointed out billboards, magazine ads, and TV shows and the lies the cosmetic industry is trying to feed us. She (and my son) have seen the Dove Evolution video several times which inevitably provokes important conversation. If you have a daughter and haven't watch this with her, do it now!

Just yesterday at the mall, my daughter pointed at a huge billboard for a large cosmetics company and noticed how none of the models were smiling. "That's because if they smile they'll have wrinkles, which they never show in ads," she explained to me wisely. File this under proud moment in parenting a daughter.

Let's be honest. I am definitely dealing with the challenges of aging. But rather than battle the inevitable by spending my dollars on superficial fixes like cosmetic surgery and expensive bottles of creams which sell the illusion of youth, I'm trying to eat well, work out, and dress like the inner rock star I am. A little hair colour doesn't hurt either. Don't get me wrong. Watching my face change isn't easy. Sometimes I feel like the evil stepmother in Snow White as I enviously look at my daughter's glowing skin.

But it's the cycle of life. And it's her time to shine.

Empowering our girls to reach their full potential is our responsibility as mothers. They emulate our behaviour and absorb our fear. This is why I am so thrilled to address these issues in a series of free Self Esteem Workshops for Girls and Moms in partnership with Dove hosted by YMC Bloggers and #YMCCommunity bloggers to be held around the country. You can check out the schedule of workshops here. I really hope you grab your girls between the ages of 8 and thirteen and take some time to learn about what's holding our girls back and how you can help you daughter become the amazing women she's destined to be.

As moms, role models and consumers, let's celebrate our wrinkles and teach our daughters that a woman's real beauty comes from the inside. My daughter is already on the right path. I know it will be even more challenging when she hits her teen years, but I plan to continue to walk the talk to help her believe what her real beauty is.