About two years ago I decided to go on this crazy adventure which I called "The Six-Month Sex Challenge." I learned a lot but more importantly, it started a discussion with parents on what kind of sex is realistic after your baby is born. So, in hopes that it will once again start a good discussion, I've decided to republish the blog series.
Here's the introduction—originally published in November 2009. What I remember most about this introductory post was being criticized for only having sex once a week...six weeks post partum—I was astonished. I could barely find time to take a shower and I was supposed to find time to have sex multiple times a week. Really??!?!
Sex after baby is born. What a crazy time in a couple’s sex life.
It’s been six weeks since I had my newest son, Evan, and my OBGYN tells me I can resume sexual relations. After having my first son, Andrew (who’s now 26 months), trying to get sex back on track was, at times, a complete gong show. And that was with me making a concerted effort to have sex at least once a week.
With that in mind this time around, I’ve decided to make sex after this baby a project. For the next six monthsI will (attempt) to have sex with my husband at least once a week.
But not just any old sex. Oh no.
I’ll be upping the ante by trying out all different sorts of things each week. We’ll test drive techniques (like erotic massage), sex toys (there are so many) and other products (like sexy board games) to see how and if they work.
As well, once a week the sex will be all about me and the alternative week the sex will be all about my husband.
We’ll see how having scheduled and planned out sex works through exhaustion, teething, flu season and all the other things that got in the way of great sex with my first child.
My thoughts at the start of this project…
Initially, I’m really excited about doing this. I’m eager to resume having sex with my husband—and potentially great sex too. I really like the idea of trying out a bunch of ideas.
I’ve always wanted to create a resource of ideas for moms on what works and doesn’t work. I hope by trying all these different ideas and products, it will give women a good idea for her own sex.
Finally, my mantra as a sex expert is that a woman must know what makes her sexually satisfied—and then she needs to ask for it to happen. She cannot and should not rely on her partner to figure that out for her. By me making the sex about my wants and desires, I hope it helps (can I be so bold as to say ‘inspires’) women to do the same.
The Six-Month Sex Challenge might be brilliant or it might be a bust. I hope you follow along to see what each week brings.