It's inevitable. While teaching a seminar — it doesn't matter what topic, 'Hand Jobs', 'Menopausal Sex', 'How to Fix Your Tractor 101' (kidding...but I'm sure it would happen)--one brave soul raises their hand and asks, “Can you tell me how to find the G-Spot?”
This is where I gulp down a big sigh, try to keep the smile on my face and answer their question — I am after all a sex educator and it's my job to educate people about these kinds of things.
Still I can't help but wonder, as I'm giving the instructions, if the average woman is setting her orgasm expectations too high. By buying into all the media hype and trying to have this grass-is-always-greener G-Spot orgasm, it diminishes the perfectly wonderful orgasm she's, hopefully, already experiencing.
There's still a battle between researchers and sexologist about whether the G-Spot actually exists. Anecdotally, I have met hundreds of women who are able to have a G-Spot orgasm and "squirt" (ejaculate).
The problem is when you go online to find hundreds of articles, blogs and books saying that every woman can have a mind blowing, earth shattering G-spot orgasm if she and her partner simply know the techniques — which I don't believe is true.
G-Spot orgasms aren't for every woman: It's my observation they come (sorry for the pun) easier for some women more so than others. In fact, some women who can have G-Spot orgasms don't like the sensation.
Luckily respected sex educator Sunny Megatron agrees. Here's her take on relearning what you've learned about the G-Spot:
Most of the videos on female anatomy and the G-spot are much too graphic for this blog, which is why we're watching the young and enthusiastic Laci Green talk about the G-Spot and the P-Spot (Yes, there's all kinds of 'spots'; find out more about The G-Spot, A-Spot and U-Spots.)
BTW—If you have an older teenager and want them to have solid sex education, then point them to Laci Green's YouTube Channel.
Having your first G-spot orgasm usually takes many months to master; you need to to train your body and be tuned in to what it's experiencing. Because there isn't any instant orgasm gratification, many women get discouraged and give up after only a few attempts.
(1) You need to be very (VERY) aroused because your G-Spot will be a lot more sensitive when your pelvic region is engorged with blood; think about the difference between a flaccid and erect penis.
(2) Go into the vaginal canal with two fingers pressing firmly toward the belly button. As every woman's body is different, if there were a clock on her outside pubic bone her G-Spot will be located internally between the 10:00 and 2:00 o'clock positions. Most women's G-spot is located at 1:00 o'clock.
(3) With two fingers, start doing a rhythmic 'come hither' motion, rubbing firmly between 10:00 and 2:00 o'clock.
(4) When your G-spot is aroused enough, a small nub that feels similar to the tip of your nose will appear. Start message that spot using the come hither motion in and around that area.
(5) At some point you will feel like you have to pee. This part of the learning curve is probably the most difficult for women to get past; that is not immediately clenching to stop that need-to-go-to-the-bathroom-feeling. Clench and you've lost your chance.
(6) Zen-like at this juncture you need to “Be with the pee.” After 10 to 15 seconds of 'being with the pee' your body should move into orgasm.
(7) Most women will ejaculate with her orgasm—from 1 teaspoon to 1 litre (yes, a litre) but most likely 1 to 2 tablespoons. A woman's ejaculate isn't pee even though it's coming out of her urethra; it's a similar system to how men can pee and ejaculate from the same hole.
For those of you who may be squeemish about ejaculating remember men (and many women) love to see things squirting out of orfices. Even if your partner is down there and you squirt all over them, they will feel like a freakin' super hero and walk around with a puffed chest for days.
Sometimes when you are on your own, it's tricky to reach your G-Spot with your fingers. And/ or if you're with a partner and can't get over the edge, it's time to bring in a vibrator. My recommendation is this little baby the Lelo Mona. Using a vibrator will make this process go a lot faster because the vibrations bring blood to the surface making the area a lot more sensitive. Once you hit the spot, gently rub the toy back and forth over the area.
Once you go to all that effort and train your body to understand what it needs to feel, many women report being able to have a G-spot orgasm on command. Which really is an exceptionally fun party trick to pull out of your sexual repertoire. And for those women who once were able to have G-spot orgasms and need a refresher course, here's a great article: How do I get back to my G-Spot?
It's my observation that if you go looking to have a G-spot orgasm, it probably won't happen. It's those times when you're completely juiced up and enjoying the sexual experience that your body lets go and it happens all on its own. Therefore simply by enjoying the orgasm you already experience, no matter if you can have a G-spot orgasm or not, you will always cum out the big sexy winner.