I was thinking about what I would do if one of my children ever ended up in the eye of a viral internet typhoon. We've seen how fast the media can get swept up in a story that has gone viral online. Nothing is private anymore and I need to teach them how critical it is to be safe online and offline. I need to teach them that before their resume gets a second look a Google search will be done on their name. Things that in the past would've never made a blip on a background check could now blow their chances at a job, or worse.
At what age do we start telling them about The Good Internet vs. The Bad Internet? When they start using the family tablet at two-and-a-half, or when they start watching YouTube unboxing videos for hours at a time? Or is it when they get their first "inbox" from someone trying to ruin their life? There’s no manual for this.
When I was eleven and three quarters I wanted to be famous. I thought that if I was a celebrity I would have no problems! Life would be a breeze. I honestly thought that one day I could be famous if I just worked hard enough, became the most beautiful and most amazing woman that people simple wouldn't be able to ignore me.
In my hormonally soaked teenage brain neurons were pinging around like a game of brickbreaker telling me that qualities like being cool, rich and famous were not only an ideal, but attainable. Not until the dust had finally settled did I realize how unsettling it is that our society creates these little fame-obsessed “tweens” like I was.
With this huge shift in "tween" culture an industry was born. In our malls. In pop culture. On the internet.
For the last twenty years cell phones, pagers and mobile communication in general has meant a much longer leash for much younger children. iPhones and Social Networking sites have been marketed heavily towards that age group, too. Now tweens and teens (9-15) are FaceTiming their friends after they're done their homework and using Facebook as a way to publicly and shamefully humiliate, degrade, and hurt one another.
With power comes great responsibility and kids, probably more than ever, feel a huge weight to be the best, prettiest, purest, skinniest, coolest, most popular, and ultimately probably be famous or world-renowned for something. When they’re not they feel like they can’t come back from it.
Maybe kids don't understand that things do get better because for them the stakes are higher. These days kids aren't just humiliated in gym class or on the bus when they're being bullied, no, it's in the comfort of their own home, where they are supposed to feel the most safe.
It's obvious that these days anything is possible when it comes to internet virality. For most kids the idea of having their most embarrassing, awkward or challenging moments broadcast for all to see on the internet is still their worst nightmare.
It's not to say that technology is evil and something we should strip away from our kids until their eighteenth birthdays, however. Technology can be great, iPhones can do remarkable things! But to protect our children we need to show them how to handle themselves, after all its our job as parents to make them great people, not famous, or rich or well-respected, just good. Without the good all of those other things can go bad fast.
PREVENTION: Don’t do anything stupid on camera (if you can help it!). What might seem like a good idea at the time in hindsight might be really dumb. Whether its nudity, underage drinking, drug use or silly stunts, doing anything that could be perceived as illegal or using bad judgment could come back to haunt you. Remind them “Even if you and your friends aren’t recording, someone could be. I trust you to use judgment that won’t land you in jail!”
PREVENTION: It doesn’t matter if you’re dating, engaged or married, don’t get naked on camera. EVER. (This goes for you too, Mom and Dad!). No matter how much you trust the person taking or getting pictures, when it comes to cell phones, computers and the internet *anything* can be hacked and stolen. If it isn’t something you wouldn’t want your boss seeing, DON’T take a picture!
PREVENTION: If you have nothing nice to say… don’t tweet about it, knucklehead! Complaining, being rude, using harsh language or constant negativity isn’t just annoying for the people on your friends list, but it could reflect poorly in your future chances for school or employment!
MANAGEMENT: Damage Control! If you or someone posted a picture, video or screen cap on a social network the faster it is deleted the less of a chance it has to spread! Begin reporting the image/video etc. immediately if you can’t remove it yourself. Ask trustworthy people (your parents, family) to help report it to get it banned.
MANAGEMENT: Don’t fight about it! Nothing fuels the flames on conflict faster than more conflict. If someone is bullying or harassing you with private images, messages or otherwise ask them to stop and then ignore them. If they can’t get a rise they might stop. Freaking out about it might only draw more attention.
MANAGEMENT: Contact the Authorities. If someone is using and/or distributing your image without your consent you are within your rights to contact the necessary officials. Laws are determined by region, so while you might not be able to charge them, you will definitely be able to scare them!
RECOVERY: Moving on can be tough. Particularly revealing, offensive or damaging pictures, videos or otherwise can be tough to get over. The feeling of exposure lasts a long time, but once the damage is done its hard to un-do. Determine what you are and aren’t going to tell people if they ask you about the incriminating materials/event. Be honest and concise, in certain situations being upfront and honest will speak volumes about your character.
RECOVERY: As Elsa says, Let it Go! Remember “Those that matter don’t mind, and those that mind don’t matter!”
If all else fails, does anybody have Olivia Pope’s number? ;)
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