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Every day I read the news with a mixed bag of emotions; disgust, anger, sadness, empathy, heartbreak but it’s always tempered with a “Oh well, that’s what the world is like” kind of feeling. I move on, we all move on. We forget and we wait for the next big headline. The next tragic event. This morning I was stopped cold by a headline and I simply can’t move on. The headline read:
Bullied Boy Took his Own Life
Immediately from the headline I know it’s not a teen, the usual demographic for suicide due to bullying. I read further and sure enough he was eleven. Chills ran up my spine. ELEVEN. I just can’t get that number out of my head. What terrible place must this child have been in to think that taking his own life was better than growing up? How does an eleven year old even have these thoughts? It’s incomprehensible.
Reading his story you learn that he lost his mother at 8 and he was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at 9. Enough misery had been passed to this little boy to last him a lifetime, but no, some little jerk decided he’d add a little more. A 12-year-old bully, which at only one tender year older than the victim is also hard to imagine. And therein lies the next question. How does a 12-year-old boy lack empathy for a clearly disabled child?
Well, let me be the first to stand up and say his parents. That’s right. His parents are responsible. You can blame society all you want but ultimately parents are accountable for raising their children with empathy and compassion for others. This story should have ended after the 12 year old boy was arrested. If his parents had been doing their job they would have been at that young boy’s doorstep apologizing. Then they would have made their son make up for his behaviour by a) returning the iPhone he stole b) apologizing for his behaviour and c) watching his every move to ensure he didn’t do it again. But no. That’s not what happened. The bully continued to bully and even got his friends involved (more sorry parenting).
I think we’re going about this bullying thing all wrong frankly. Someone is raising these kids after all. Shouldn’t they be called to the mat for this? I’m not kidding. If either one of my children, heaven forbid, ever did anything like that, you can be damn sure that I’d be going above and beyond what I listed above. I’d be mortified. How as a parent do you shrug your shoulders and not make this right? How as a society are we not looking beyond the bully and tapping the parents on the shoulder and saying “Excuse me, are you going to do something about this?”
This last year my daughter was subjected to some bullying on the school bus by a young boy who called her a “fat fucking pig”. He’s nine. His brother repeated the sentiment on another occasion. He’s eight. I let that slide because my daughter begged me not to make it worse. Now more than ever, I realize the mistake I made there. That will never happen again. I’m going to tell you when your kids are being jerks and I hope you’ll tell me when mine are.
It may take a village to raise a child, but ultimately the whole village isn’t living in your house. Do your job.