You know what’s just around the corner, don’t you? Annual Hangover Day, otherwise known as New Year’s Day. Yes, that’s right folks. The day millions of people around the globe nurse themselves back to health after drinking far more than they should have the night before. Why do we do this to ourselves? Who the heck knows. Mine is not to question why, but rather to offer you support and guidance for the inevitable day of hell coming your way. Of course, I’ll be behaving myself drinking tea and playing bridge while listening to Glen Miller this New Year’s Eve, but I know there’s a few of you out there that like to push the limits of respectability.
Without further ado, here a few hangover cures for you to try. Let me know which ones work, strictly for research purposes only. I would obviously never actually need any of these.
First and foremost you might choose not to drink. I know, I know, but I had to get the obvious one out of the way.
If you have your faculties about you, have a full glass of water before bed. That being said, if you have the sense to do this then you haven’t had enough to drink. What’s wrong with you? It’s New Year’s Eve for heaven’s sake. Party like it's 1999 not 1899.
If you find yourself genuflecting at a big porcelain bowl you might as well say a prayer while you're down there. "Dear God, I promise to never drink like that again if you just take this misery away."
The hair of the dog. Why not delay the inevitable for the next day? Start with Caesar’s and Mimosas and work yourself up to the hard stuff by lunch time. Hangover be damned.
Chocolate milk. I’ve *ahem* done a little field work with this one and I have to say it works.
Lose your children. Not forever of course, but if you have willing grandparents, neighbours, older siblings, babysitters, the dog, then enlist their help.
The greasy IV drip. Start the day with bacon, eggs and buttered toast. Snack on chips. Join others like you in the McDonald’s drive-thru. The hangover gods demand grease as your sacrifice. Give in. You can start your New Year’s diet on the second.
Coffee. Stat. And keep it coming.
Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.
Shower. Remove make up from night before. Brush hair. Brush teeth. Sleep.
Write down all the reasons why you’ll never, ever, EVER, drink again. This won’t make your hangover go away but it’s very therapeutic. While you’re at it, write down a list of all the people who may have digital images of you the night before. Prepare your retaliation.
Someone on twitter suggested having Midol and water before bed. Apparently this works for men too and they are a whole lot less bitchy in the morning too.
Sports drinks. Tomato juice. Orange juice. Water. You get the picture. Rehydration is your focus. I like fizzy drinks like Coke and ginger ale. To each his own. We all drank something different to get us here. Drink what you need to to get out of it.
Finally, don’t beat yourself up. So you over-indulged a little, ok, a lot, but you’re amongst friends. Chances are none of them are going to remember what you did anyway.
No need to thank me now, you can do it tomorrow when you feel better. That is of course, provided that you don't have the dreaded two day hangover. Happy New Year!
Last year I put out a list of resolutions on the world wide web in a sad attempt to motivate myself in to keeping a few. How did I do? Well I’m happy to report that my track record in keeping resolutions is unblemished. I did not keep one. I am nothing if not consistent. Here then is a brief review of last years resolutions:
Resolution: I will remember my damn reusable shopping bags when grocery shopping.
Result: I actually never did remember my reusable shopping bags and now face another problem, an abundance of them. Out of eco guilt, I bought every manner of reusable bag the stores offered and still forgot them in the car.
Resolution: I will obtain a six pack for my abs. As motivation will post pic of stomach on my 41st birthday.
Result: Did I say six pack? Obviously I was drunk writing that post. More like keg, I will obtain a keg is how it should have read. As for the picture? I would like to thank my editor, Sharon, for keeping mute on that one. I know she had it marked on her calendar.
Resolution: I vow not to eat potato chips except when LOST is on and I am suffering from PMS.
Result: This was just a silly one. I mean potato chips and I have a special bond. I go to them when I’m happy, sad, angry, drinking and they are always waiting for me in all their salty glory. Not eat a chip. Madness, I tell you. Madness.
Resolution: I will use all beauty products before I buy another one to replace it. In theory you could collect more rewards points in my bathroom than your local Shoppers Drug Mart.
Result: I tried on this one. I really did. I made it a whole week before I was conned by some advertisement in a magazine for younger looking skin and fuller hair and found myself wandering the aisles like a strung out addict looking for a fix.
Resolution: To my dog: I promise to walk you more.
Result: To my dog: I’m sorry.
Resolution: I resolve to continue embarrassing the teen of the house
Result: Actually, the teen conspired against me on this one by maturing and stuff. Sheesh. Time to start embarrassing the younger ones.
Resolution: I will spend more time doing nothing with my children.
Result: This was not a total failure. Although we didn’t spend vast amounts of time loafing about, we did spend a lot of time together doing something. We travelled, we played games, we talked, we read. I feel pretty good about this one. So, not a total failure after all. At least that’s what I’m sticking with until their book comes out.
Resolution: I will do three things this year that scare me: 1) I will not charge anything to my credit card for thirty days 2) I will attend an event wearing an outfit I’ve worn before and 3) I will jump out of a plane. Ha ha ha....kidding. I’m not crazy. I’ll try curry this year, that’s as adventurous as I’m getting.
Result: Ok, clearly I pulled this last one out of my arse. Complete and total failure. On the plus side I looked fashionable while failing. It's all in how you spin it my friends.
So there you have it, an entire list of resolutions made and forgotten. Which is why this year, I’m resolving to not make any. That is one resolution I know I can keep.
Unless you’ve been basking in the glory of a sunny holiday somewhere out of country, you’ve probably heard about Snowmageddon this week. My hometown of London, Ontario has been hit with over a metre of the white fluffy stuff and I’m a teensy bit jealous. Ok. I’m a lot jealous. What can I say? I love snow days.
One of the most joyful things about being a Canadian child is waking up in the morning and seeing the world wrapped in a blanket of white and knowing you’re going to have red cheeks, hot chocolate and no homework. It’s a gift. As a mom, I love getting to say those two little words. Snow. Day. You need say nothing else because everyone knows what it means. For one day, all plans get cancelled. There is no schedule to adhere to and the day unfolds before you in a wonderfully lazy way. Board games you haven’t played, movies you haven’t watched and books you’re been longing to read are waiting for you.
My best friends’ children were home from school this week for 3 days (there was a collective sigh of relief from mothers in London on Day 4 when school resumed) and it’s left my children a little pouty. So I’ve told the girls that at the first sign of bad weather we’ll pull out the big guns. To ensure a snow day here’s a few things your children can do to help it along:
Everytime you walk by a snow globe, give it a shake.
Wear your pajamas inside out and backwards.
Sleep with a spoon under your pillow.
Throw ice cubes in the toilet - one for each inch of snow you want
Eat ice cream the night before
Say your prayers:
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord lays the snow down deep
Please give me a snow day before I wake
So I can have big snowmen to make
Now, I'm not going to lie to you. There's a good chance that you'll see a blog from me in March cursing the snow. I'm wishy-washy that way. For now though, I'm off to put a spoon under my pillow. I'm looking forward to a pajama wearing, snuggling, crafting, baking, giggling kind of day.
What's your favorite part of a snow day?
Snow Day 2007