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A little over two years ago, I met Erica Ehm in a coffee shop in Ottawa and pitched her an idea for a blog about a woman who stayed at home to raise her children for six years and then suddenly went back to work. I’m going to be honest here and tell you that I completely pulled that one out of my ass. I did not wake up that morning thinking I would start writing and I had no fully formed plan when I walked in to meet her that day. Instead, we had a great conversation and somewhere in the middle of it, I thought “If I started writing on Erica’s site, it would be a great way to promote my business to my target audience.....mothers”. So, in one of those totally compulsive moments I threw it out at her. Imagine my surprise and horror when she said yes.
I held it together as we talked, but when I got home the self-talk started in earnest.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid!”
“You’ve never written before idiot”
“Nice one. Look what you’ve done now?”
“Ok, ok, I’ll send her a sample blog and the jig will be up. No harm, no foul, right?”
“Oh dear God, what have I done?!!”
I spent the next couple of days writing my first blog and sent it off to Sharon and Erica. Then, I waited, and waited for what seemed like an eternity. After a day I had convinced myself they hated it. After two days I convinced myself they hated me. On the third day, I couldn’t take it anymore and I talked to Erica or Sharon, I can’t remember who and said “So, you hate it, right?” and the response was totally not what I expected. It was something along the lines of ‘we love it’ and I almost passed out from relief. They were building me a page of my own. A place where I would have to write a second blog, and my relief turned to terror again. “Do I have this in me?” I thought. One hundred blogs later, it would appear that I do.
I question my worth as a writer daily, and am still genuinely touched when someone takes the time to comment on my blog. It is a humbling thing to realize that someone other than yourself wants to hear your voice. I try hard to stay true to my own voice and share that here. I can be goofy, a little earnest, brutally honest, and sometimes I can get a little uptight about things. I’m on a journey, as we all are, and I am going to change and grow along the way. What will my voice be like after I’ve written two hundred blogs? Wiser I hope, still goofy and still genuinely me is my goal.
You may have guessed that being here is no longer about promoting my business, it’s become a passion. Writing was something I had secretly thought about for many, many years but lacked the confidence to pursue. I recently heard a friend of mine say, “Leap and a net will appear” and I thought "Damn right it will". I’m glad I leaped two years ago. My world has become an infinitely better place because I did.
If you are reading this right now, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking time out of your busy day to hear what I have to say. You are my net.
“This picture was actually taken that very day. Look on Erica’s left to see who else was there...our own KelliDaisy! Kelli and I have since become each other’s lobster. So lucky to call many of the ladies here at YMC good, good friends.”
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