There are many moments in parenting when I wonder if I’m doing it right. I question how my choices will turn out in the long term, and whether each decision I’ve made will have minor or major implications on the lives of our kids. And then there are times when I can take a pause, breathe into the moment at hand, and feel content that things are going okay.
I don’t know any parent who hasn’t experienced some kind of struggle with their kids at bedtime. There’s a reason for the extreme popularity of the book Go the F&@k to Sleep. Reading stories is always an important part of our night-time ritual but I also use a few other tools that have saved my sanity and helped my little ones slip into slumber with greater ease. Some worked for a few months, some a few weeks, some are used on rotation, and some have become a standard part of our bedtime routine.
Who doesn’t want to be happy? Or want their kids to be happy?
According to Richard Davidson, a professor of Psychology and Psychiatry at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, it’s simple. Just as we can acquire a skill like learning to play the violin, we can learn to be happy through mindfulness.
My husband and I were out for dinner a few weeks ago. Just like old times. Except it wasn’t like old times. When Tim excused himself to go to the bathroom, my first instinct was to reach into my purse and check my iPhone. As I was scrolling through my inbox, I stopped myself. "Why am I checking email?" I thought. I had absolutely no good reason, so I put the phone down. Looking around, most people who weren’t engrossed in conversation, (and some who were still having a conversation) were on their smartphones. Heads down.
It’s easy to enjoy parenting when you’re riding the highs, but enduring the lows with equal enthusiasm might be one of the biggest challenges I face in my daily life as a parent.
In my last post, I shared a key piece of advice for anyone who wants to start meditating—all you need to do to start meditating is simply start a meditation practice. Stop. Sit. Breathe. Repeat.
There are many profound and beautiful words to describe motherhood, but peaceful is not one of them. Our household is full of noise. From cries to laughter, from singing to shouting, from music to meltdowns, and from whispers to wails. It is full. Of love. And of noise.
It’s been going on for months, if not years. It’s talked about in my Twitter feed, on Facebook, at the coffee shop, at school drop-off and pick-up. People everywhere seem to be screaming: “I’m just not sleeping and I’m sick of it!”
Pre-kids, the month of December was a time to reflect. I’d think about the year just passed and, throughout Christmas, reflect upon the year to come. But I’ve noticed in the last few years, despite making sure to take downtime throughout our busy holiday season, I don’t have the same kind of thinking time. So, this year I’m trying something new. I’m taking the month of January to reflect, not resolve.
Sleep deprivation. It can be the bane of parenthood. Everyone talks about how much sleep you’re getting or not getting. But what happens when it’s not the amount of sleep that’s the issue? What happens if you can’t actually fall asleep in the first place? One of the most common complaints I’ve heard lately from clients, friends, and on Twitter is that people simply can’t get to sleep.