It was a simple sentence uttered on the playground by a neighbourhood mom. As we watched our boys playing, our talk turned to how hard it has been to get my kids out the door in the mornings. Recently, my five year-old son has decided that every step of the morning routine is unnecessary. The chart that was so effective at keeping us on track no longer holds any weight. And that particular morning had been, let’s just say, plain difficult.
There are many moments in parenting when I wonder if I’m doing it right. I question how my choices will turn out in the long term, and whether each decision I’ve made will have minor or major implications on the lives of our kids. And then there are times when I can take a pause, breathe into the moment at hand, and feel content that things are going okay.
There is this myth of motherhood that has been perpetuated over the years about moms who do it all and how does she do it and oh-my-god-how-do-you-manage? I admit, I’m guilty of it. I look at other moms and wonder how they can look like they just came from the salon when I know full well they were wrangling four kids through breakfast and the get-to-school routine. We all have our struggles so why do we think that everyone else is handling things with seeming ease?
With my kids now ages eight and five, our family came out of the holidays this year in a completely different way than we did a few short years ago. We actually started the year off relaxed and energized for the coming weeks and months. Before the back-to-school rush, my husband and I were reminiscing about the early years of our children's lives, and memories started to surface of the first Christmas we were new parents. Lizzie was three months old, and despite living six hours away from our closest family members, we had decided to do a whole bunch of traveling to see everyone.
With the dawn of each New Year, there’s the typical buzz about resolutions, reflections, intentions, or goals for the days and months to come. Regardless of whether you balk at the idea of New Year's resolutions, or whether you’re a keen goal-setter come January 1st, it’s pretty natural to approach a New Year as a bit of a fresh start. A clean slate. And one thing I’m sure we all have in common: the desire to make the year ahead a good one. I’m pretty certain that no-one rings in a New Year with the hopes that it will be shittier than the year before.
The holiday train has left the station. The countdown to Christmas is on and for many, the calendar for the next month is already full. There are lots of ways to stave off stress this holiday season, but one sure-fire way to stay happy over the holidays is to make sure you fit in some self-care.
It’s early autumn. My daughter and I are in a small dance wear shop, looking for a new gymnastics outfit for her. We’ve picked out a couple of outfits and Lizzie is in the change room trying them on as I wander the racks reminiscing about the dance recitals of my youth. I’m clear across the store when I hear singing from the change room: “Pretty pretty please, don’t you ever ever feel like you’re less than, less than perfect.” It’s my daughter, singing loudly and with abandon, repeating the same verse over and over.
My husband and I were out for dinner a few weeks ago. Just like old times. Except it wasn’t like old times. When Tim excused himself to go to the bathroom, my first instinct was to reach into my purse and check my iPhone. As I was scrolling through my inbox, I stopped myself. "Why am I checking email?" I thought. I had absolutely no good reason, so I put the phone down. Looking around, most people who weren’t engrossed in conversation, (and some who were still having a conversation) were on their smartphones. Heads down.
We all want a stress-free holiday season, but let’s face it: it's often a tricky time. We long to enjoy vacation days, spend quality time with family and friends, and celebrate whichever rituals we honour during the festive season.
It’s easy to enjoy parenting when you’re riding the highs, but enduring the lows with equal enthusiasm might be one of the biggest challenges I face in my daily life as a parent.
