When we have kids, we mark the passing of time by referring to certain milestones or “firsts”: The first time the kids sit upright on their own, their first foods, their first attempts at crawling, their first steps. As parents we watch these moments with a mixture of excitement and sadness - the joy of discovering a new stage in our child’s development, and the quiet lament for the stage left behind.

I’m in the midst of giving myself a performance review. A mom review. With Mother’s Day having come and gone, I’ve been thinking a lot about my mom, my mother-in-law, my friends who are moms, and the role they play in my life as a mother. There are qualities I admire in each of them and many qualities that I aspire to bring to my own family. And I am reminded of how important it is to regularly take a look at my own parenting style.

There was a year in my teens when I spent much of my time looking down. Ah, (deep sigh) high school. I had moved back to Burlington after living for most of my childhood in Bermuda and England. I had a British accent and knew a sum total of two people in my school (from my kindergarten days) on the first day of Grade 9.