It was a simple sentence uttered on the playground by a neighbourhood mom. As we watched our boys playing, our talk turned to how hard it has been to get my kids out the door in the mornings. Recently, my five year-old son has decided that every step of the morning routine is unnecessary. The chart that was so effective at keeping us on track no longer holds any weight. And that particular morning had been, let’s just say, plain difficult. I know it’s a phase, I know this too shall pass, but there are still many days in this parenting gig that I wonder if I’m doing any of it right. This was one of those days. And then the mom put her hand on my shoulder and said, “You are not alone.”
Those four words were exactly what I needed to hear. Because sometimes in the day-to-day routine it's easy to slip into the feeling that I’m the only one whose kids resist bedtime, the only one who struggles to get out the door peacefully in the morning, the only one whose kids fight over inconsequential matters. The list goes on. But by talking openly and sharing our parenting experiences—not just the joys but the challenges—we can gain insight into the difficulties that other moms experience and often learn that what we go through is not unique.
The words resonated with me long after we left the playground. I thought of all the times in the last eight years of parenting that I could have benefited from hearing the words, "You are not alone." And I am certain that there are many moms out there who could appreciate the phrase right now.
So…
To the mom at the coffee shop trying to breastfeed in public for the first time, feeling hormonal, hot and flustered: You are not alone.
To the mom whose toddler has just pulled the cashier’s display over at the grocer store: You are not alone.
To the mom whose son is tantruming and blocking the doorway of the hockey arena: You are not alone.
To the mom who can’t buckle her child into the carseat because her daughter is tensing her entire body like a plank: You are not alone.
To the mom staring out the window of her kid’s nursery in the dark at 3 AM, feeling exhausted and weepy: You are not alone.
To the mom whose kindergartener screams and wails at every drop-off and pick-up: You are not alone.
To the mom whose school-ager hasn’t found his place in his class yet: You are not alone.
To the mom whose teenaged daughter won’t talk to her: You are not alone.
To the mom whose son drew in permanent marker all over the walls: You are not alone.
To the mom whose kids will only eat carbs: You are not alone.
To the mom whose kid stands on the side of the soccer field picking dandelions: You are not alone.
To the mom whose kid plows over the other kids on the soccer field: You are not alone.
To the mom whose six-year-old still wakes up two or three times a night: You are not alone.
To the mom whose child just shouted, “I hate you!” for the first time: You are not alone.
To the mom whose tween is struggling with his identity: You are not alone.
To the mom whose kids have lice: You are not alone.
To the mom who doesn’t recognize her post-baby body, and is finding motherhood far harder than she imagined: You are not alone.
To the mom who feels like she is hanging on by a thread. You are not alone.
Whether you’re a first-time mom or you have four kids in high school, you are not alone. We are all here trying to navigate this parenting world and we are all going through something. Let’s share openly and continue to support each other in our experiences. There are times that we may need to lean a little harder on our friends, family and our community, or even seek help from a professional.
But rest assured that—no matter what your circumstances—this fact is true: You are not alone.
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