I have always been a morning person, mostly out of necessity. My Mom had to head for work that started at 7 am, and she would make sure I was up so that I could get myself and my younger sister off to school. In college, my student work was serving breakfast bright and early. I would get back to my room, turn on the light, and chirp, “Rise and shine, Sunshine!” to my roommate. Years of working at a firm where the office opened at 8 am kept my early-morning persona alive.
I married a man who is a night-owl and hates mornings. After having three kids, I’m not as chirpy as I used to be — especially before I’ve had my morning coffee — but I still wake up naturally between six and seven in the morning. My husband is trying to become a morning person and here are some of the things that work for the both of us.
1. Go to bed earlier. Stating the obvious, yes, but if you go to bed after midnight, it’s kind of hard to roll out of bed at six.
2. Program your coffee machine. I finally did this, and it’s revolutionary! For me, at least. Knowing that the coffee is brewed and ready for me makes it easier to slither out of bed.
3. Clean the kitchen the night before. Waking up to a dishwasher full of clean dishes that need to be put away makes me grumpy. Horribly, stompily, grumpy. And shouty, which doesn't help any of us as we start our day. If I clean the kitchen in the evening and wake up to a fresh start, the morning is much more doable.
4. Make lunches the night before as well. Mornings are hectic enough with trying to get your kids off to school and you off to work. The more you can do ahead of time, the less there is to dread about getting out of bed. We pack school (and work) lunches the night before so that in the morning we just have to worry about eating breakfast, getting dressed, and getting out the door. That's an Olympic sport in and of itself.
5. Set your alarm for the same time every day. Your body adjusts to routine, if you’re consistent. Most days, I wake up a few minutes before my alarm goes off, because my body knows that it’s time to wake up.
Do you have any tips to share for how to ease the night owls among us into become morning people?
Many years ago, one of my childhood friends was visiting me with her five-year-old daughter. This friend is beautiful — stunning, even — with perfectly full lips, wide brown eyes, and a light that shines from within. She's also fit and trim and turns heads wherever she goes. A few times throughout the weekend, she talked about how she felt "fat" and "not beautiful" within earshot of her daughter. Later, when we were alone, I asked her if she always talked about herself so negatively in front of her daughter. I didn't have a daughter (I do now) but I wondered if she had thought about what effect her words might have on her daughter.
It honestly hadn't occurred to her, and she vowed to stop with the negative comments about herself in front of her daughter.
Fast forward ten years, and I have a daughter of my own. She is seven years old, vivacious, curvaceous, and strikingly beautiful. I say this not just as her mom, but also as someone who hears it from so many others, both friends and strangers alike. She looks like me, but not, and is built as I am. Tall, broad shouldered, and with a fantastic booty. She is smart and strong and funny and loving and confident and everything I wish I was at her age.
As her mother, I build her up daily. I tell her how smart she is, and how funny she is, and how I love how she embraces new kids at her school and includes them. She can be full of fire at home, being a girl and all, but she is pure sweetness at school and other activities.
One other thing I do for my daughter is not to ever speak negatively about my body image in front of her. I struggled with my body image for years (and years and years), due to my childhood as a "big girl," my muscular build, and my snail's pace metabolism. I am in a good place now, because I've come to terms with the fact that running and working out as much as I do doesn't make me "tiny." It makes me fit and toned and able to help move couches, if the need arises. I am strong and I have large thighs and I have some pretty sweet deltoids and shoulder muscles.
I have "fat days," sure, usually every twenty-eight to thirty-five days. I feel bloated and uncomfortable in my own skin. In the privacy of our room, I will tell my husband that I feel "fat" and that I know I'm being ridiculous. He will agree on the latter, and we laugh and then it passes and I'm back to worrying about my laugh lines. (That's a post for another day.)
As for my daughter, I have made it so that she has never heard me complain about feeling "fat" or "not pretty." She is already bombarded by that from the little bit of media she's exposed to, whether it's Shake It Up or the cover of magazines in the stands at the grocery store. She thinks I'm the most beautiful woman on the planet (her words), and hearing me tear myself down would do nothing but break her own self-esteem.
She's already asked a few times if she's "chubby" and while I wanted to cry, I held it together. I told her how beautiful she is, with her big blue eyes and amazing smile, and flowing hair. I told her how her loving heart makes her beauty glow from the inside. I showed her how my thighs and arms are muscular, just like hers. She is like me and is not built to be wee, but to be tall and strong. I reminded her that she is able to ski black diamond runs on the ski hill, which is something few seven-year-old kids can claim to do.
Being a mom to a daughter can be tricky — and full of conflict — but I'll be damned if I'm going to do anything but build her up and make her confident in her beauty.
Do you have a daughter? How do you navigate the waters of beauty/weight/body image in general?
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