A study published in the BJOG: An International Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, suggests that mothers have a higher chance of experiencing depressive symptoms four years after giving birth than in the first twelve months after their child is born.
Parents laugh when I joke that my children (not I) decided I was going to become a parenting educator. I was quite happy helping clients with their trauma recovery work, and then I had kids.
To my great surprise, having children brought out the worst in me (at first). I expected parenting to be more joyful than it actually was, but my reality was that I spent a lot of time crying when my children were born.
I woke up this morning reminding myself of what to do when exhausted: one son woke me up the first time because he had to pee, the second time with scary dreams and then the other son woke me up at 5:45am because, “my eyes feel funny.” The routine is first to say this mantra until I believe it, “I will not start this day angry.” The next step is to think of one thing I am incredibly grateful for.
I had a wonderful conversation with Erica Ehm, the owner of this publication, after that post came out. We talked about how parents probably needed to be validated in their struggles and to know that even us "experts" have rough days, and in my case, actual conditions like postpartum depression.
