Closer to Fine began playing from my iphone in the car on the way home from school. Emily says, “WOAH. What is this song? I am absolutely in love with it.” I hadn’t heard it in years. But, yet, suddenly I am transported back to my early teens to where I discovered an overplayed copy of a tape in my sister’s room. I was likely searching for something mega important, like lipstick, but stumbled upon a tattered old mix tape and popped it in my boom box. I didn’t know it at the time, but my life was forever changed by that song.
“Music, you know, true music, not just rock ‘n’ roll, it chooses you. It lives in your car, or alone, listening to your headphones—you know, with the vast, scenic bridges and angelic choirs in your brain. It is a place apart from the vast, benign lap of America.” - Lester Bangs in Almost Famous.
And it wasn’t the only one. Music has shaped me. Who I am. What I love. Who I love.
First kisses and first dances and first crushes and first loves and first times.
Unforgettable friendships. Unforgettable moments. Unforgettable places. Unforgettable things.
These are a sampling of some of the songs that have completely shaped who I am. Just as the people and places and events surrounding them chose me, Lester Bangs was right, all of these songs chose me as well. I will never be the same for having heard them once, twice, or eight-thousand times.
1. Free to Be You and Me—Marlo Thomas and Friends
2. Maybe—Annie
3. Minuet in G—Bach
4. You Got The Right Stuff—New Kids on the Block
5. Glory of Love—Peter Cetera
6. In Your Eyes—Peter Gabriel
7. Happiness is a Warm Gun—The Beatles
8. Closer to Fine —Indigo Girls
9. Sweet Caroline—Neil Diamond
10. Smells Like Teen Spirit—Nirvana
11. The Space Between—Dave Matthews Band
12. She Talks To Angels—The Black Crowes
13. Tiny Dancer—Elton John
14. He Went to Paris—Jimmy Buffet
15. Karma Police—Radiohead
16. Call Me Ishmael—Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly
17. The entire Garden State soundtrack
18. Forlorn—Sunna
19. The Shining—Badly Drawn Boy
20. Set The Fire To The Third Bar—Snow Patrol
21. Two-Headed Boy—Neutral Milk Hotel. (21b. In The Aeroplane Over The Sea—Neutral Milk Hotel)
22. I and Love and You —The Avett Brothers
23. Click, Click, Click, Click—Bishop Allen
24. You & Me—Penny & The Quarters
25. Lead Me Home—FM Radio
What songs have shaped you? What songs would show up on the soundtrack of your life?
Usually after awards shows I am full of, well, a lot to say. There's always THE GOOD, THE BAD, and the...CONFUSING. Last night was no exception. There was some bad (like Sandra Bullock's dress, Angelina Jolie's leg, and The Dictator's ashes). There was some confusing (like Natalie Portman's polka dots and Michelle Williams waist-skirt). And I don't care what you have to say about it being boring and about Billy Crystal being no longer relevant and full of strange plastic surgery, I quite enjoyed last night's Academy Awards.
Yes. I did.
Because say what you will, for me there was a lot of good.
Like Christopher Plummer's win. “You’re only two years older than me, darling. Where have you been all my life?” he said to his 84-year-old statue.
Like Esperanza Spalding's song.
Like Kelly Ripa's dress.
Like Octavia Spencer's acceptance speech.
Like Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis with two pairs of giant cymbols.
Like the Bridesmaids talking about wieners and short films; also playing the Scorsese drinking game.
Like every single thing about Leslie Mann.
Like Jessica Chastain's date—her grandmother.
Like Viola Davis and her completely effortless chic.
Like Emma Stone bantering with Ben Stiller.
Like the "it's a wonderful night for Oscar. Oscar, Oscar."
Like Meryl Streep's EVERYTHING. Seriously, I forgive her for her dress because the woman is just A GOLDEN GOD.
Like Billy Crystal poking fun at himself for maybe no longer being relevant.
Like Jean Dujardin's Roberto Benigni-esque acceptance speech.
Like the interviews with the celebrities about their favorite things about movies—complete with Ed Norton! and Reese Witherspoon admitting to loving Overboard.
See? So much good.
What about you? What was GOOD last night for you?
I have opinions.
I mean, who doesn't?
Sometimes I have opinions about leggings. Or crop tops. Or wine.
But here's the thing about opinions. You have them too. And sometimes your opinions are going to line up with mine. And sometimes they are not.
And that's OKAY.
The world would be a really, really dull place if every single person felt exactly the same way about everything.
But here's the thing about sharing opinions:
REMEMBER TO BE RESPECTFUL.
It's a funny thing, this internet world. Because people have the ability to sit behind this veil of anonimity and shout things that they would never shout at your face, and they make up fake email addresses to give dissenting or rude or obnoxious or cowardly opinions.
Only, here's the thing. Whenever you leave a comment anywhere, you are leaving behind a virtual FOOTPRINT of who you are. When you leave your comment, you leave an IP ADDRESS. And I don't know if you know this, but leaving an IP ADDRESS behind leaves all sort of information, such as where you work, what city you live in, what size your screen is, what web browser you are using, what site brought you TO my site, what you clicked out to FROM my site, how many hours you have spent on my site. Essentially, you are basically telling me exactly WHO YOU ARE. All it takes is a little digging and some help from, say, LinkedIn.
If you want to tell me that you don't like my post, please tell me you don't like my post.
If you want to tell me that you love to wear leggings as pants, please tell me.
If you want to tell me that you love crop tops, please tell me.
If you want to tell me that you love wine, please tell me.
That's OKAY. It's encouraged even, as it creates a dialogue, and a discussion. Which, when we write on the internet, is what we want; it's what we crave.
But here's what you should not do.
You should not leave a comment as someone such as, say, "nothingmuch" with a fake email address, and tell me that something that is very important to me is too melodramatic for you and that it's ridiculous that I choose to cry over something that was very emotional for me.
Because, really?
You are dictating what I should find important?
You are dictating what should or should not make me cry?
I wonder what you, NOTHINGMUCH, would have to say if I tell you that I cry at Folger's commercials.
I wonder if you, NOTHINGMUCH, know that I know exactly who you are, based on the IP ADDRESS YOU LEFT BEHIND when you so cowardly left me a comment behind an anonymous veil.
Because that's just the thing.
It's not anonymous.
So, I hope people can remember to RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE when they do, in fact, diasgree.
Because it's okay to disagree.
It really is.
What is not okay is being disrespectful.
What is not okay is hiding behind a fake email address.
What is not okay is telling ME on MY SITE what I should or should not feel.
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