Allergies are difficult on all members of the family. They're hard for the person who has to deal with them, they're hard on parents trying to learn about them and keep kids safe, and they're hard on siblings who often get lost in the shuffle while everyone's trying to protect the at-risk family member. More discussions should be happening about the non-allergic siblings of allergic kids, I think.
When my son was born, my daughter was three years old. She previously wore peanut butter facials, had her pick of treats, we ate out in restaurants freely, and never worried about what we'd eat, or where or when. Looking back, I long for that kind of care-free living.
When my son was born and diagnosed with severe allergies, suddenly everything changed. 
Where we ate became a huge decision.
The foods we allow in the house are highly restricted.
Activities we do have to be so carefully planned.
Every road trip has lost its spontaneous sparkle.
Easter changed. Christmas changed. Everything changed.
My daughter loves her little brother more than anything in the world, and happily spends her life worrying and caring for him. In the earlier years, so much of our attention focused on this new addition, for so many more reasons than are normal when a new baby arrives. We managed this as best as we could.
My daughter is her little brother's protector, best friend, and superhero. She changed his diapers, dressed him, cheered him on, and loves him to the end of the earth. She reads to him, teaches him, watches out for him, and rarely leaves his side.
They are now 7 and 4 years old, and just lately—I don't know if it's the gloomy weather or the years of responsibility—things are shifting between my kids. I hear my daughter wistfully remembering her peanut butter on toast days. Her patience wears thin when I have to carefully read labels on something she wants to buy at the grocery store. She asks to go places she knows we can't take her brother. She seems to be short on patience with accommodating her little bro, and I'm honestly not surprised. It's been four solid years of altering her wishes for this kid.
We're so lucky that she's such an empathetic, mature child, but I admit, we've dropped the ball on attending to her needs. Things have been vastly unequal in the attention department, and before resentment builds, I want to make sure we care for her needs as much as those of her brother.
So, here's what we'll be implementing:
1. Special days for just her and one of us, where she gets to choose whatever she'd like to do.
2. Treat days where we'll go out and she can eat all the nut products she wants.
3. Attention for her in the same way as it's given to her brother, even if not in the same (worried) manner.
I don't want to neglect her in our mission to keep her brother alive. And I certainly don't want to do any damage to the wonderful, strong, totally adorable relationship they have together.
To help your child get a better understanding of his/her sibling's food allergies, here are some books about severe food allergies for children of all ages.
And check out these 25 important questions to ask your child's allergist.
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