20141229

My Kid Wants a New Name & It's Giving ME An Identity Crisis

Note: For the purposes of this article, my daughter’s name is Rebecca. It isn’t, really, but we’ve tended to stay away from using her real name online and Rebecca is a reasonably suitable alternative for the issue at hand.

“She’s such a Becky.”

There’s something about my kid and that name that just seems to click. People meet her and agree that, yes, Becky is somehow the most appropriate possible name for her. The kid has three given names and a last name but it’s this playful derivation from one of those given names that just fits.

She exudes Becky. She is Becky.

Except one day she wasn’t anymore.

“I think I’d like to be called Rebecca now.”

Now, Amy and I have always tried to encourage my daughter’s independent streak. We want her to foster her own sense of identity and to be comfortable in her skin. When she wanted to grow her hair long like Auntie Meaghan, we encouraged her to grow her hair long like Auntie Meaghan.

When she wanted to wear the brightest and most clashing outfit in her closet, we encouraged her to wear the brightest and most clashing outfit in her closet.

But Rebecca? Who the heck the is Rebecca?

“Do you think this is just a phase?” I asked my wife.

“Maybe?” she offered, unconvincingly.

But here we are, more than a month later, and Rebecca she remains. She asked us to inform her teacher in the early days of the transition but otherwise it’s been Rebecca who has broken the news to friends and family alike.

And her resolve hasn’t wavered in the face of resistance or frequent slip ups. “I think you meant Rebecca,” she’ll say patiently when one of us calls her Becky.

“Sorry kiddo.”

“It’s ok, Daddy; I know you’re still learning.”

“I’m just used to my special, funny, smart and confident Becky, kid.”

“Don’t worry Daddy, I’m still the same person.”

Sense of identity: Check.

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Family - Kids

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naming your children

anonymity online

my child wants to change their name

do you like the name chosen for you

what would your name be

Do You Hate Your Spouse?

Bride dragging her groom to the alter but it's a cake topper.

Every couple is different. I get that.

I mean, I don't expect every couple to geek out over scoring Kids in the Hall tickets or to gently mock one another's typos over IM. People are different. Relationships are different. S'all good. And hell, there's probably a lot of things Amy and I could do better. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone and all that.

So please understand that I don't ask this in a judgemental way; this comes from a place of honest wonderment, not self-righteous highmindedness.

But what's the deal with couples who openly disrespect one another?

It's this whole subculture of "ball-and-chain" humour (at least I assume it's humour) that I just don't get. Sure, Amy and I tease one another online from time to time but it's always done with a wink and a nod and an undercurrent of respect (I think, anyway).

I mean, I love the ever loving crap out of my wife. She's amazing. And I want the world to know that she's amazing so I tend to say it a lot. Online. In person. Wherever I get the chance I'm pumping her tires like a... well something that pumps tires a lot. A pump, I guess. Sorry, started down this metaphorical road without a clear vision of where it was going and now the wheels have come off. OR THEY'VE DEFLATED. BETTER PUMP THEM.

Boom, brought it home.

Anyway, back to the point. Are you part of a couple that mocks one another? Do you openly lament your loved one's return home or undermine their parenting skills/cooking skills/personal hygiene online, even in jest? I'd love to hear from you.

^{Image Source: nola.agent via Compfight cc}