Dec
12
2012

How Lena Dunham Bagged a $3 Million Book Deal

And Do We Really Need to Know About her FUPA?

How Lena Dunham Bagged a $3 Million Book Deal

What kind of book proposal does it take to bag a $3.7 million deal with Random House? Ask Lena "Girls" Dunham. Her 66-page precis is chock-full of naval gazing, I mean, "frank and funny advice on everything from sex to eating to traveling to work."

But at roughly $56,000 or so per page, is it really that worthy? Moreover, what does a 26 year old girl really know about Life? Ok, so maybe I'm just bitter.

Sure, Dunham is funny. But is that enough to carry an entire book? Clearly her publishers think so, or else they are banking on the usual equation: household name + amusing book = sales in the kajillions. Admittedly, my math isn't too clever, yet I'm guessing they'll have to shift a lot of hardbacks to earn back a penny. 

Seems I'm not the only skeptic. An article in Gawker described Dunham's book as basically "an invitation to get lost in the mind of a girl who is lost in her own mind." 

Some of that fortuitous proposal has now been leaked, with promises to describe Dunham's "beginnings of a FUPA (fat upper pussy area)." Personally I'd rather pluck my own lady bits than read about hers and her multitude of mediocre lays. I'd also rather find the latest J.K. Rowling tome under my tree (are you listening, Santa?). But maybe that's just me. Or maybe not.

To my mind her writing has a distinctly collegey feel, which isn't really surprising since that's where she found herself just a few short years ago. 

As a reviewer in the Observer points out, Not That Kind of Girl may well find a strong fan base. After all, "these are the folks who devote Tumblr blogs to their own facial hair, can’t make mac and cheese without Instagramming it, and post every dress on Pinterest as though it came straight from the Vogue fashion closet."

Perhaps what Dunham should be bottling up and selling to her generation is drive and entrepreneurial spirit. How to sell a whole lot of nothing much for a shitload of something else. At the least it would curb some of the country's collective student debt. 

Do you find Lena Dunham funny? Will you buy her book? 

Dec
12
2012

Ikea Monkey Mom Wants Him Back

Should he Stay or Should he go?

Ikea Monkey Mom Wants Him Back

As if the tale of the Ikea primate weren't surreal enough. Turns out, the owner of the monkey that escaped her car in the Toronto store's parking lot hailed from Montreal, and didn't take kindly to having her baby confiscated by Animal Services.

Yasmin Nakhuda claimed her pet Darwin was so attached to her, he had to be near her at all times, even while she slept and showered.

"At the beginning, I was told that was the best for him because generally, monkeys live off the back of the mom," she said in an article on the Huffington Post. She claimed he was prone to panic attacks when she was out of view.

After being taken into custody by Animal Services, Darwin has since been rehoused at Story Book Farm Primate Sanctuary, north of Toronto.

Fined for breaking the city's prohibited-animal bylaw, Nakhuda is seeking legal action in an attempt to regain custody of her pet, which she claims isn't a rhesus monkey but a Japanese macaque. She has also expressed concern at Darwin's wellbeing at his new home.

Stay tuned for the big screen adaptation. It has Steven Spielberg written all over it.

Where should Darwin go? Reunited with his human 'family' or integrated with his own kind? While you contemplate this dilemma, check out this home video of Nakhuda and her 'son'...

 

Dec
11
2012

Jenni Rivera Killed in Plane Crash

Diva of Banda Dead

Jenni Rivera Killed in Plane Crash

Authorities have confirmed that Latina singer and TV star Jenni Rivera, as well as seven passengers—including her publicist, lawyer and makeup artist—were killed in a plane crash shortly after takeoff. 

Wreckage of the Learjet was found in Nuevo Leon state, Mexico. According to an article in People, the plane was carrying the 43-year-old California-born performer. The plane lost touch with air traffic controllers following Rivera's concert in Monterrey, and never made it to its scheduled destination at Toluca, outside Mexico City. 

Known as the Diva of Banda, Rivera sold over 20 million albums sold worldwide and was "recently named one of People En Español's 25 most powerful women." 

Her first album, "Chacalosa," released in 1995, became a hit and was followed by two others, including a tribute to slain Mexican-American singer Selena. According to the CTV News report, she had acquired a devout following on both sides of the U.S.-Mexican border.

She had been in negotiations with ABC for a new show, simply titled Jenni, depicting a "strong, middle-class, single Latina woman working to raise a family using unique parenting skills."

Rivera also starred on the Telemundo reality show I Love Jenni, based on her life as an entertainer and recently divorced mother of five. She was married to former Major League Baseball pitcher Esteban Loaiza for two years.

"I can't get caught up in the negative because that destroys you. Perhaps trying to move away from my problems and focus on the positive is the best I can do," she said to fans at her last concert. "I am a woman like any other and ugly things happen to me like any other woman. The number of times I have fallen down is the number of times I have gotten up."

Such sad news.