Introducing...Cancer Barbie. If it sounds too ridiculous to be true, then it must be.
Talk about a warped sense of self. It seems that when Victoria Beckham — formerly known as Posh Spice — looks in the mirror, she sees the average woman. As far as Posh is concerned, her UK size 6 (a Canadian 4) figure is totally status quo.
For some reason, she's convinced that her bird-like figure is representative of that of the general British female populace. Newsflash Posh: the average British woman wears a UK size 16!
Beckham, who recently gave birth to her fourth child with soccer God David, stripped down to her swimwear for Harper's Bazaar magazine. The secret to her svelte self: snacking on edamame beans and frozen grapes. Yum.
So convinced is she that her build is the norm (or the ideal?), the pop star-turned-designer models clothes on her own measurements.
"We always joke that we have this fabulously gorgeous 17-year-old model who is six-foot-whatever and I say, 'OK, I'm going to put it on — I stand for the general public here,'" Beckham told Harper's. "It's how I work. I found it really difficult when I was pregnant and I couldn't do that."
She famously, or infamously as it were, sent back a handsome plate of roast beef at a swanky meal in honour of Burberry's 150th anniversary, demanding a salad instead. (You can just imagine how that went down with chef Jamie Oliver.)
Would you happily live like a bunny rabbit for the rest of your days if it meant having Victoria's 'average' physique?
Ok, so I'm not saying you're an idiot per se, but at least that's how I sometimes feel standing head-scratching in the long aisles of the LCBO. What to get to complement that Cordon Bleu meal you've slaved away at for hours. Er, more like get in, grab a quick bottle for a dinner party, and hope that snap decision isn't a crap decision.
If you're half as hapless as I am, this app will come as a godsend. With a quick snap of the barcode on your smartphone, wine guru Natalie Maclean will answer your prayers and maybe even get you some dinner party cred.
Don't believe me? Take it from The New York Times and The Globe and Mail, which rated Nat Decants as one of five top food and wine apps.
You can access a virtual wine cellar of 150,000 bottles, complete with professional tasting notes, scores, pairings, and recipes. You can even check nearby stock and load your virtual cellar in a few clicks.
So, the next time that ever elusive date night rolls around, thanks to Natalie's ingenious app, you can play the proud sommelier, or at least fake it. We won't tell, promise.
Or if you're feeling ridiculously ambitious, you could always try this.