Here’s how Friday went: Ello??!!?? What the heck is Ello? WHY is everyone talking about Ello? Everyone on Facebook and Twitter were talking about getting invites. I kept posting on walls, “What’s Ello?” but I couldn’t get a straight answer. I guess I’d just have to slide the mouse a bit to the right and Google it myself.
Oh no. Not ANOTHER SOCIAL MEDIA SITE. Ello seems to be making some big promises. Never will they sell my data, they won’t advertise, they’ll have a LOVE button. (This feature does appeal to me. I mean, come on, how many times have you written “where’s the LOVE button” on a cute kid or puppy picture on Facebook? A lot, right?)
I was skeptical. First off, you need a special invite to join. See? Already they are playing on our social media insecurities. Are only the cool kids getting invites? It’s that same feeling you get when no one likes your heart-shaped latte pic on Instagram. Lonely and isolated.
Ditching Facebook for Ello would be like trading out my old husband for a new one.
Sure, in the beginning it might be exciting. Your heart may race, your cheeks get hot, you buy new bed sheets and underpants. But I am pretty sure once you get into it, you just realize it’s the same old crap, just packaged differently. Don’t get me wrong, I like my husband just fine, but, like Facebook, I’ve got him where I want him now. In life and online, I used to spend a lot of time trying to come up with clever posts/things to say. Now I am at the point just typing “having soup for dinner” is good enough, for Facebook AND for my husband. Trying to find a new ten-year-old photo (to look younger than I actually am) and coming up with a cutesy profile again? No thanks. That’s like trying to figure out clever ways to look my best naked (this involves a lot of stretching up, like I am trying to get that soup can down from the top shelf) or sleeping with a full face of makeup on and saying, “I always look this fancy when I wake up.”
It’s not that I don’t put out this sort of silly effort any more, it’s just that I feel I don’t need to. I am comfortable with who I am and where I’m at. I am staying put with Facebook. So, if that means Zuckerberg is going to put up ads for all the crazy stuff I Google, like trips to Dude Ranches or “16 Signs Your House Is Haunted,” then so be it. And if he sells my information, even better. That means someone somewhere is paying attention to me, which is what this crazy social media business is all about, right?
If you liked this, check out: "What Is A Fakecation And How Do I Get One?" and "10 Tips For Not Being An A**hole Online."
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